Clothes Horse

Good Afternoon readers! Sorry I haven’t written in a bit but I haven’t had much to report lately. I feel great today. I have been spending too much money updating my fall wardrobe and enjoying it. I’m trying not to buy too much because I am still shrinking but I’ve had to buy some things. I only have two pairs of pants in the size I am wearing now so I had to buy another pair. I don’t have any in the next size down so I have ordered a few so I am prepared when I drop my next size. I have bought some tops and sweaters but a lot of those will fit as I lose. My upper body always looses weight first. Right now I’m really in-between so I have a tiny waist but huge hips. I carry most of my weight in my lower body so it takes longer to lose there. Some of the tops might get too big but most probably won’t. They’ll just fit better or a little loose. Not a problem.


Of course though my mother has to tell me how fat my thighs look and how I dress badly and don’t hide it. Sorry I choose not to live in sweat pants but I actually leave the house. Today I am wearing a completely new outfit and I love it. Surprisingly enough Mummy dearest actually loved it too. That is a rarity. So I’m feeling pretty today. I wish Coach could see me but I won’t see him until we go to the gym tonight. We have been very bad and have taken the last two weeks off and we need to kick our routine back in.

Coach’s parents have been so supportive. Every time I go over to his house his mother says “I can’t believe how skinny you look” and yesterday his dad pointed out that my pants are getting too big. Coach is so wonderful too. He was worried that their comments might bother me. I told him no, they don’t. Since Mummy-dearest has been so nasty with her comments lately it’s nice to have someone tell me I look good. My friend Sweets is trying to lose weight now too. Her sister is getting married and she wants to look good for the wedding. She has trouble finding a diet plan that works for her too. I suggested she look into the sleeve. I don’t know if it would be the right thing for her but researching it would help her determine that for herself. She decided against it though. She has been using weight watchers and says its working. So I’m happy for her. I think that those few miserable moments would be harder on her then they were on me so she probably made the right choice.

Also I am reminded that you really need to be determined and committed for this tool to help you. The Aunt said to me the other day that she walked all over on her vacation and didn’t lose a pound. The way she said it made me think “what do you want me to do about it” Like it was my fault or something. (Actually she decided to do this first, I was just the one who made the doctor’s appointment and had the surgery first). I asked her what she ate on vacation and she said “I didn’t have any desserts” which made me think that she probably wasn’t eating the best meals if she only mentioned no desserts. But the thing is I can have dessert. I do sometimes. I just don’t all the time. The bottom line is that it comes down to how committed you are. She didn’t read the research I gathered before the surgery. She hasn’t followed up with the dietitian. She didn’t follow the diet. She says she feels bulimic from all the throwing up she does. If she is getting sick that often then she is eating too much and hasn’t learned to listen to her body. She should have learned that by now. Not to say that I don’t get sick. But it happens more and more rarely. Accidents happen but for the most part I have learned how much is right for my new tiny tummy. I feel bad for her because she got sleeved two weeks after me and has lost twenty pounds less than me. But she is doing it to herself. I keep wondering what our doctor says to her at her visits. Not that she tells him the truth about what she does anyway but I wonder what he says. Oh well sigh, can’t do anything about it.

Well folks, I just wanted to write a little something and keep you up to date on my progress. Keep reading and I’ll keep writing when I have something worth saying.

Wedding Bliss!

I had such a great weekend! A friend of mine got married this weekend and I went to the wedding with Coach. I dreaded having to find something to wear for this wedding (As you probably read in my last post). But with Diva’s help we did manage to find a dress I liked. Coach really liked my dress, which makes me happy. I felt a little self conscious at first because it’s been so long since I wore a dress and because I had to use this weird stick on bra to avoid straps and showing bra in the back. But it all worked out. I got a ton of compliments on the dress. Everyone loved it! One of the girls from the bachelorette party came up and said she could tell that I had lost more weight since the party. I smiled and said yes I had and thanked her for noticing. Coach and I talked to my friends and danced all night long. It was so much fun. The food was really good which was a bit of a problem. I thought I had done alright. I had eaten a little much but I was ok. Then I made that crucial mistake: I unconsciously took a sip from my water glass. The minute I swallowed I knew I was in trouble. I felt that little sip hit my already full stomach and make it too full. A few minutes later I was running to the bathroom to expel some of that extra meal. Luckily I felt much better afterwards and have perfected the art of throwing up without making a mess of myself. So I could go back to the party and pretend that nothing happened. I will admit that I drank a lot that night. Everyone did. But it wasn’t too bad. I was dancing so much I figured I probably burned those calories right back off and I only had a slight headache the next morning. The next day my stomach didn’t like me that much though. At least not for a while. I slept in and missed breakfast so I was really hungry when lunch came around. I started eating that too quickly so after a couple of bites I was feeling sick and couldn’t finish my lunch. But I did have a good dinner. So alls well that ends well. I had a fabulous time, I looked great, and I felt great. Pictures to follow soon!

Static cling issues here

The Perils of Dress Shopping

Welcome back readers! It’s back to work after the long holiday weekend. And what am I doing? Blogging for you folks, Nice huh? LOL


Anyway, I enjoyed my little break. Monday I got to take a big box of too big clothes over to my friend Diva’s house for her to see if she wants anything. After she is done trying them on I’ll take the rest and put it aside for consignment once I have more to add. That was kinda fun. It’s nice to be able to say that I am too skinny for those clothes. And it makes me feel good to be able to help her out a little because she doesn’t really have extra money for new clothes. A lot of those clothes are new and were only worn a few times or some were never worn at all.

Diva also went with me to find a dress for my friend’s wedding next weekend. Now that was not something I was looking forward to (dress shopping, I’m excited about the wedding). Dress shopping for me is usually a horrible experience. I realized that even when I liked my body there is some kind of strange voodoo with those dressing room mirrors that make you look like the Pillsbury Doughboy. No matter how happy you are with yourself those mirrors make the worst flaws jump out at you and consume your vision. Then, when you are already overweight the lighting makes you look in the mirror and say “Holy Cottage Cheese Ass!” and makes you feel terrible about yourself. Then add the extra shame of not being able to find anything in your size (because the only things left are size zero and no one who breaths can actually wear something that small). And the additional despair of finding that even the few things you can find in your size don’t fit right, don’t look good, or aren’t as cute as that sweater that is only available in Barbie doll size. Really shopping is a traumatic experience for so many people and can be even for those skinny Minnies out there too.

So I wasn’t not looking forward to this but I had nothing appropriate to wear to a wedding. I already went to the Bachelorette party in too casual an outfit and I was not doing that again. I was just glad that I finally hit the negative fifty pound mark and kept in mind that this was going to be so much easier then it would have been four months ago. So we trudged off to the mall determined to search every store until I found something to wear next weekend.

Then something surprising happened. I expected to find that no dresses fit me right because I carry most of my weight in my hips and thighs. I am so disproportionate that I have always had trouble with dresses, even at my lowest weight. But that was not my problem this time. I am wearing a size 16 pants which I found translated into a 14 dress in order to fit me up top (I do not have size 16 boobs). I found that a lot of the styles out there for dresses right now actually work with my shape. There are a lot of dresses that have poofy bottoms so when I put them on they make it look like it’s the dress and not me that poofs out at the hips. It actually hid my thighs. The problem came though, that a lot of those dresses are short. We are talking Butt Floss Short. I have never had attractive legs. As I said I carry my weight below the waist so my calves are chunky. Short does not work for me. The second problem was that everyone was out of my size (because most women actually prefer not to look like a victim of starvation) so most of the dresses that were available were in the itty-bitty-no room for flesh on this skeleton-sizes.

Our search became about finding something in my size and that was long enough to hide some of my cellulite thighs. We went to so many stores and I tried on so many dresses. But I wasn’t getting as upset as I usually do. I didn’t find it as depressing. I felt this time like it was less of a problem with me and more of a problem with stupid designers that make clothes to fit pre-teen boys instead of real women. Eventually I did find a dress that I liked, was a decent length, and looked nice on me. It was also a style I would have never picked for myself, assuming it wouldn’t fit right. But Diva knows her clothes and I was desperate so I tried on anything she wanted me to try. I did spend a little more than I wanted but I think it will be worth it. I may even be able to have the dress taken in when I lose weight so I can keep it after this. Overall it was a successful shopping trip. I haven’t had one of those in a long time. I also forgot that shopping in stores can be fun because you can see a lot of different styles and ways to wear the clothes which you don’t always see when you shop online (that is how I have done all my shopping for years to avoid those evil dressing room mirrors).

I was glad to actually go home from a shopping trip satisfied and not hating myself. All I can say is THANK YOU to my new tiny tummy. Getting sleeved was a god-sent! Hopefully I’ll be able to post some pics from the wedding next week.  :)

The Big 5 Oh!

Just a quick update. The reduced calories seem to be working. I've finally lost those annoying two pounds and hit the 50 pound mark! It's been just over 3 months and I've lost 50 pounds! I've almost hit the half way point to my goal!

More Restrictions

Saturday was my three month check up with my surgeon. He was happy with me because I have continued to lose weight and he says my incisions are healing nicely. I talked to him about my stall and he said he had the answer to why I’ve stopped losing. I’m taking in too many calories. He says I need to cut back from my 800 to 600 calories. And I should increase my cardio. Yippee(I’m sure you can hear my enthusiasm).


In some ways it’s not a big deal to cut back. I mean it’s only two hundred calories and It’s not like I’ll be hungry. But it’s difficult to get enough protein with only 600 calories and it means I really have to limit my choices. Not much variety for me anymore. My plan for my basic diet is

Breakfast : Oatmeal ( I usually only eat half a package of sugar free instant but sometimes a whole one) 55-110 calories

Lunch: veggies with a little ranch dressing and a Carnation Instant breakfast shake ( about 200 calories)

Snack: ½ a bottle of Isopure Protein water (75 calories)

Dinner: Carnation Instant Breakfast (150 calories)

That will leave me with a little bit left over for a small snack if I am hungry. Yippee. Very boring. I might be able to substitute a cup of soup for lunch some times. Hopefully this will start working and my weight loss will start up again. Then I’ll feel more motivated to stick to this diet.

On a Non-diet related note: I got a new car this weekend!!! I am so excited. I have been saving for a long time to buy myself a new car. Luckily my brother just got a job at Ford so I got his discount, and I got a really good price on my trade in. So I had just enough for my new car. I love it. It’s so nice and fun to have a new car!

A Shout Out and a Rant

Good Morning Readers! First thing, I have to give a big shout out and Congratulations to the Wanning Woman for hitting her 100 pound loss! Big cheers for her joining the Centruary club! I’m so happy for you! And a little jealous which is small of me.


So Saturday is my next visit to my surgeon and I am so frustrated! My weight loss slowed down and now it has just stalled completely. ARGH! I even changed out the batteries in my scale, hoping that it was inaccurate because it was flashing low battery. No such luck! So Tuesday I started a semi liquid diet to try to jump start the weight loss. Sometimes changing what you are eating helps. I am trying not to drop calories though. I am trying to keep to my 800 calories but use this to change what I am eating and to up my protein. I have a protein shake for breakfast, I eat real food for lunch, I have my protein water for an afternoon snack (no sugar, 40gm of protein 160 calories), and then a protein shake for dinner. If I feel hungry or need more calories I have something like a cheese stick for a snack. So far nothing has happened. It hasn’t helped. If I don’t get some movement by the weekend I will go completely back to the pre-op liquid diet. I am at -48lbs and I want to at least hit fifty by Saturday. I should have lost 56 right now to stay on course to loose everything in six months.

To add to the frustration/confusion of all this my pants feel loose. I don’t get it. I haven’t lost a pound since I first started wearing these pants last Monday. Last Monday I wore these pants for the first time and they were a little tight. Since them I have worn them a few times and I have washed and dryed them. I thought they would be tight again after washing them but no, they aren’t. They feel loose and they look a little loose too. I don’t get it. While that is good it just adds to the frustration.

Saturday I went to a BBQ with some bigger friends of my boyfriend’s. I was doing ok at first just nibbling at the chips and dip. But when they brought out burgers earlier then I was ready for I was worried everyone would notice how little I was eating compared to everyone else. Between that and everything to drink being carbonated I was almost ready to come clean about my surgery. But I didn’t. I managed to sit behind a ton of chip bags so no one saw my plate. But ever since I have been wanting carbs. It’s weird. I haven’t had food cravings much since surgery. If I do have them it has been just a twinge that I could ignore. But the last few days it’s been annoying. I don’t know why I just want to eat chips and pizza. My work provided pizza for lunch the other day and I had one piece but since then I have wanted more. It’s just so strange to have cravings and it’s weird to crave something that I can barely eat. I mean I can have a few bites but they fill me up quickly. Usually if I can only eat a tiny bit of something, I loose my craving after I think of that. Very strange.



Well everyone, Wish me luck and cross your fingers that I manage to end this stall. Thanks!

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!

I had such a great weekend! One of my friends is getting married next month and this weekend was her bachelorette party. I was so excited to see her and my other former roommate. The night was such a blast! She had the party out of town so that we could all stay at a hotel together where the bars were walking distance away. That way no one would have to worry about driving.


I was a little worried about how to deal with the sleeve mixing with the party. First step, since I don’t want people to know about the surgery I had to make sure neither of my former roommates noticed my scars while I was changing into my party clothes. That one I managed pretty well. The other girls there wouldn’t notice because they don’t know me and wouldn’t know that the big scar on my belly button was a new thing. We decided to really make it an occasion we would all dress up. They wanted everyone in a dress but I don’t wear dresses. I am so bottom heavy that it is really hard to find dresses that fit me so I stay away from them (skirts also fit me terrible). So I ended up being the only one in pants. But what can you do?

We went to dinner first. The restaurant was pretty nice and I was worried about what to order. Luckily two of the other girls wanted to be careful of what they ate because they thought too much food with all the alcohol they would be drinking would make them sick. So we all ordered appetizers and split them. I thought I did a really good job about not eating too much. But when I got up to use the ladies room I found out I had another purpose for that trip.  Luckily it wasn’t too bad. Next we had tickets for a comedy show. It was upstairs in the same place we had dinner at. This was a little awkward. There was a two drink minimum at the comedy club. The show wasn’t very long and it was hard for me to drink two drinks in that time period. But by get one that was a little smaller I just managed it. At that point I was feeling a little happy because I haven’t had much liquor since my surgery. Pretty much only a little wine. I was worried that I was going to be really hung over the next day. Also I knew that with my new tiny tummy I couldn’t drink as much water to make up for all the bad drinks.

Next we went back to the hotel room for cake, gifts, and party games. I was so proud that I had no need for cake. I thought one bit would be nice but I didn’t want to waste the rest, so I just said no thank you. Everyone else managed to devour it. Next stop was a bar two blocks down the street. There we went straight to the bar for shots with the Bachelorette and then off to the dance floor! I think we danced for at least an hour. When I got too hot and the music turned to something I didn’t like I got a water to help me stay steady. We spent a little more time there dancing and hanging out. Then they decided to head back to the first place we had been. So we went back. I drank another glass of water and half of another drink. The Bachelorette was hungry at this point and we ordered pizza’s for the group. I had one small slice, which was appreciated by my tiny tummy after all of the dancing.

We spent a while just hanging out and talking there until the bar closed down. We walked back to the hotel where I bought a bottle of water to sip all night. We sat up and talked for a while and then headed to bed. A fun time was had by all. I was amazed that I didn’t get drunk and sloppy after not drinking in so long. But really I guess I had four or five drinks throughout a 7 hour period so that isn’t too bad. I was very happy to wake up the next morning exhausted, but not hung over. I actually felt pretty good except for wishing I could sleep longer. I then spent the day with my friend Sweets. I never get to see her and since I was out her way I stopped by for the day. I can’t believe how little I ate that day! I didn’t have breakfast because we got up late and there was nothing I could grab quickly. I had lunch with Sweets but I only picked at it. I thought I would normally have eaten more but I got full quick. We hung out all day and then ordered Chinese food for dinner. Again I ate a fraction of what I thought I should have been able to. But four bites and I was full. So I listened to my tummy and let it be. I did start to feel hungry around ten PM but at that point I was climbing in bed and just too tired to eat. How great is that! I don’t think I could ever have done that pre-sleeve. I would have had to eat or I wouldn’t have slept. Gotta Love it!

So my tiny tummy and I had an exciting and enjoyable weekend together and managed to get through with only one minor incident. I think we are finally learning to co-exsist. 