Good Afternoon!
Until now I have been hesitant to use this blog as a forum for my general thoughts and feelings not related to my sleeve. I have shared this blog with my boyfriend, my cousin Red, and my best friend Sweets. So I figured that just in case one of them read something I posted and misinterpreted it, or if I wanted to write about one of them I would keep this strictly sleeve related. But as far as I know, they have pretty much stopped checking out this blog as I have adjusted to my sleeve. So maybe it would be ok to use this site to vent some of my general thoughts and feelings. I’m not talking about bitching here. I’m talking about musings that I have in passing that I may never think to discuss out loud, or that maybe are too abstract to discuss. I don’t know. Just my thoughts I guess. I won’t even charge you readers a penny for them. And if any of you would like to give feedback I’d be more then happy get to get it. So here we go, Sorry, it’s gonna be a non sleeve related post.
Is there such a thing as being too forgiving or too accepting? I mean where do you draw the line between that and being a doormat. What if someone isn’t exactly wiping their metaphorical feet on you, but they are still a little off? If it doesn’t bother you in the big picture how much of a stink do you make about it? My experience is with Coach, my boyfriend. The big man has hissy fits occasionally. I mean fits like a twelve year old girl with screaming and door slamming and everything. Now I will say that this is a very rare occurrence. They are also never directed at me. I would not stand for that. These boots would be walking my ass right out of there if that was the case.
Usually when this comes up I forcefully tell him to knock it off and he settles a bit and starts talking more calmly and rationally and eventually calms down. But last night it was not happening. He wasn’t even listening to me. He starting have his fit outside and I could hear him in the house. He was yelling about our broken back door and started screaming and slamming it over and over. He was actually stomping his feet! I tried to get his attention but nothing worked. So I decided that I was not going to indulge that behavior by trying to calm him down or discussing it. I just ignored him. He even threw some stuff. I did not speak to him until he was rational and calm. He just railed at the door for a bit and finally came inside and told me what he planned to fix it. I told him that was fine and offered ways I could help the situation. Then I told him he needed to control his temper and he started making jokes.
When these outbursts happen he always gets very upset with himself afterwards. He apologized to me, which I pretty much ignored since he wasn’t yelling at me. But sometimes he does do this to his parents or in front of his parents and afterwards he always get ups upset and calls himself a bastard and apologizes. I always tell him that he needs to learn to control himself because this is what always happens. That he ends up ashamed of himself. Again I would like to say that these are a rare occurrence. Like once every one or two months. But still they seem very childish and immature to me. They aren’t productive and are just a little ridiculous for an adult man.
So here is my concern, should I be more bothered by this? I mean when he does it, it pisses me off and I tell him so. But other then that I don’t really think about it or care. I mean is this a big deal or just the type of thing that is a stupid annoyance. Am I being too forgiving by letting it go after “I’m sorry”? I don’t like the behavior and I try to discourage it when it happens. But since it doesn’t happen every time he gets mad and he never directs it at me, is being forgiving and accepting a bad thing? Is it ok for me to say that this is just something he needs to grow out of and encourage him to cultivate the tools to do that? I don’t know. I don’t think it’s bad. But I know other people would not feel the same way. Some people would maybe even think it’s a deal breaker. So what do I do with this? Am I wrong here?
If you have made it this far I would like to thank you for reading my musings.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Who is that Chick in the Mirror?
Who is that Chick in the mirror?
I’ve found myself asking that more and more lately. It’s kinda funny to look in the mirror and not recognize yourself right away. I guess it means that due to my weight loss my mental image hasn’t caught up to the image that gets reflected back to me.
I first experienced this a few weeks ago. My cousin had her first communion and her mom (Red) took pictures of her with everyone at the party. Then she sent them to us with a thank you card. When I got the card, I didn’t recognize myself in the picture. I actually spent a few seconds wondering who that was with my cousin. It was a little shocking to realize that it was me. My face just didn’t look the same. It wasn’t what I expected. Next I started experiencing this at work. I would walk past a mirror or something reflective and I would think, “who is that professional looking woman?” and then I would realize it was me. I would see myself and think that “that woman has long legs” and then realize those were my legs. I don’t have long legs. Infact I have short and chunky legs, that’s where all my weight goes. But now, I can wear clothes that give me an illusion of having long legs. I never could do that before. I keep having these experiences where it takes a moment before I recognize myself. It’s a very weird feeling. I wonder how long it will take before my mental image catches up to my physical image? It makes me wonder what will happen when I reach my goal. Because even now, 80 lbs later, I still feel like the fat girl. I still feel fat running right to my thighs when I indulge in something. I still feel huge defeat if I haven’t lost any weight, or (Heaven forbid!) I gain a pound (which is probably water anyway). I’ll post some pictures later to demonstrate what I expect to see in the mirror and what I actually see. Thanks for reading!
December 2009
January 2011
I’ve found myself asking that more and more lately. It’s kinda funny to look in the mirror and not recognize yourself right away. I guess it means that due to my weight loss my mental image hasn’t caught up to the image that gets reflected back to me.
I first experienced this a few weeks ago. My cousin had her first communion and her mom (Red) took pictures of her with everyone at the party. Then she sent them to us with a thank you card. When I got the card, I didn’t recognize myself in the picture. I actually spent a few seconds wondering who that was with my cousin. It was a little shocking to realize that it was me. My face just didn’t look the same. It wasn’t what I expected. Next I started experiencing this at work. I would walk past a mirror or something reflective and I would think, “who is that professional looking woman?” and then I would realize it was me. I would see myself and think that “that woman has long legs” and then realize those were my legs. I don’t have long legs. Infact I have short and chunky legs, that’s where all my weight goes. But now, I can wear clothes that give me an illusion of having long legs. I never could do that before. I keep having these experiences where it takes a moment before I recognize myself. It’s a very weird feeling. I wonder how long it will take before my mental image catches up to my physical image? It makes me wonder what will happen when I reach my goal. Because even now, 80 lbs later, I still feel like the fat girl. I still feel fat running right to my thighs when I indulge in something. I still feel huge defeat if I haven’t lost any weight, or (Heaven forbid!) I gain a pound (which is probably water anyway). I’ll post some pictures later to demonstrate what I expect to see in the mirror and what I actually see. Thanks for reading!
December 2009
January 2011Thursday, February 10, 2011
Wierdness
Good Morning Readers!
I hope you are all doing well. So apparently my new work responsibilities are making me drop my blogging time to once a month. Bummer. I’ll work on it. So I have been to my doctor and he was so happy with my weight loss he told me I could stop if I wanted. I said hell no! I’m goin’ for the gold, another 20-30 lbs. He was happy to hear it. He did warn me that once I had the 100lb gone mark things will get tougher. I’ll worry about that when I come to it. I also went to see the GI specialist. He said that my high copper may just be a variation on normal. My body might just work that way. The numbers are only a little high, not crazy high. So he ordered more blood tests and if they all come back normal then my body just has more copper then most. Good to know.
So my scale has suddenly decided that it wants to drop numbers every time I step on it. Usually I go a few days with no change and then do a two or three pound drop. Lately, every time I step on I’m down at least half a pound. That’s awesome and encouraging. Even though this morning my jeans felt a little tight which is frustrating since I have dropped in weight since the last time I wore them. So they shouldn’t be tighter. I never did get to do that pouch test. I have had some meals that I had to eat with other people who I didn’t want to explain it to so I haven’t been able to find five consecutive days that I could do the test. I’m a little less worried though. I’ve had snacks in the afternoon which is unusual but I’m still losing and in fact, when I count my calories I am still under my 800 so I’m good. I have also found that I am eating less and less at dinner. My food choices in a day tend to be the same most days. This is what I eat
Breakfast: ½ a bagel with cream cheese or ¾ an instant low sugar oatmeal
Mid Morning: 1 cup of coffee
Lunch: Some kind of soup, 4-6 oz depending on the type
Snack: (lately my protein water has not been appealing so I haven’t had it) Sometimes I have chips and two table spoons of guacamole or a small pop
Dinner: ½ a chicken breast at most, a few bites of salad and a small amount of green veggie (usually asparagus since it’s my fave)
It really doesn’t end up being much calorie wise. So I’m usually good. I have had a few weird experiences lately. First, the other night I made baked chicken for dinner with some yummy cheesy potatoes. Now potatoes are supposed to be an easy food for us to eat. I don’t know what happened but my tiny tummy rebelled against this meal. I had maybe two tablespoons of potatoes and ¼ of a chicken breast and I had that choking throat feeling where it feels like your food is backed up into your throat. I thought maybe I ate too fast and went to lie down. A few minutes later I was doing a sprint to the toilet to get rid of the little bit in my belly. The Tiny Tummy said “No Admittance” What was up with that???
Another weird experience: Yesterday I was feeling good in the morning. I had my usual breakfast and was fine. I decided to go to lunch early because I had a full afternoon and as I was walking to the deli to get my soup I suddenly started to get woozy. I felt disorientated and hot. I started shaking and feeling sick. By the time I got my soup I had to sit down before I fell down. It was like my blood sugar did a sudden sky dive and dropped like a stone. I felt horrible. I could barely hold my spoon to eat I was shaking so badly. I ate all of my soup, which was 8 oz. Then I got a pop and slowly sipped it. I sat at a table, dying to put my head in my lap, until I felt like I could walk back to my desk. I felt a little better and the shaking went away but it was still weird and not right. I sipped on the pop until around 3 o’clock when I decided to try eating again. Maybe more food would help. I went to the Mexican place and got a beef quesadilla (I can only eat ¼ of one) and some chips and guac. I ate the quesadilla and felt much better. I took my chips upstairs to munch on and shortly was feeling normal again. It was very strange. I usually can’t eat that much. And I don’t know what caused it. It was weird and a little scary.
I have been hitting the gym three days a week but I haven’t been pushing as hard as I should. I know I need to do a little more. At this point I have a little bit of a muffin top that I know will get better with more working out. I’m not so sure about my legs. They have always been chunky and where most of my weight likes to reside. They are starting to look kinda gross. I can tell I have a good amount of extra skin on them. My doctor had thought that extra skin there wouldn’t be a problem but it is not bouncing back like she had thought. I am starting to worry about it. Has this happened to anyone else? Let me know. In the mean time, love to you all and I will post again soon!
I hope you are all doing well. So apparently my new work responsibilities are making me drop my blogging time to once a month. Bummer. I’ll work on it. So I have been to my doctor and he was so happy with my weight loss he told me I could stop if I wanted. I said hell no! I’m goin’ for the gold, another 20-30 lbs. He was happy to hear it. He did warn me that once I had the 100lb gone mark things will get tougher. I’ll worry about that when I come to it. I also went to see the GI specialist. He said that my high copper may just be a variation on normal. My body might just work that way. The numbers are only a little high, not crazy high. So he ordered more blood tests and if they all come back normal then my body just has more copper then most. Good to know.
So my scale has suddenly decided that it wants to drop numbers every time I step on it. Usually I go a few days with no change and then do a two or three pound drop. Lately, every time I step on I’m down at least half a pound. That’s awesome and encouraging. Even though this morning my jeans felt a little tight which is frustrating since I have dropped in weight since the last time I wore them. So they shouldn’t be tighter. I never did get to do that pouch test. I have had some meals that I had to eat with other people who I didn’t want to explain it to so I haven’t been able to find five consecutive days that I could do the test. I’m a little less worried though. I’ve had snacks in the afternoon which is unusual but I’m still losing and in fact, when I count my calories I am still under my 800 so I’m good. I have also found that I am eating less and less at dinner. My food choices in a day tend to be the same most days. This is what I eat
Breakfast: ½ a bagel with cream cheese or ¾ an instant low sugar oatmeal
Mid Morning: 1 cup of coffee
Lunch: Some kind of soup, 4-6 oz depending on the type
Snack: (lately my protein water has not been appealing so I haven’t had it) Sometimes I have chips and two table spoons of guacamole or a small pop
Dinner: ½ a chicken breast at most, a few bites of salad and a small amount of green veggie (usually asparagus since it’s my fave)
It really doesn’t end up being much calorie wise. So I’m usually good. I have had a few weird experiences lately. First, the other night I made baked chicken for dinner with some yummy cheesy potatoes. Now potatoes are supposed to be an easy food for us to eat. I don’t know what happened but my tiny tummy rebelled against this meal. I had maybe two tablespoons of potatoes and ¼ of a chicken breast and I had that choking throat feeling where it feels like your food is backed up into your throat. I thought maybe I ate too fast and went to lie down. A few minutes later I was doing a sprint to the toilet to get rid of the little bit in my belly. The Tiny Tummy said “No Admittance” What was up with that???
Another weird experience: Yesterday I was feeling good in the morning. I had my usual breakfast and was fine. I decided to go to lunch early because I had a full afternoon and as I was walking to the deli to get my soup I suddenly started to get woozy. I felt disorientated and hot. I started shaking and feeling sick. By the time I got my soup I had to sit down before I fell down. It was like my blood sugar did a sudden sky dive and dropped like a stone. I felt horrible. I could barely hold my spoon to eat I was shaking so badly. I ate all of my soup, which was 8 oz. Then I got a pop and slowly sipped it. I sat at a table, dying to put my head in my lap, until I felt like I could walk back to my desk. I felt a little better and the shaking went away but it was still weird and not right. I sipped on the pop until around 3 o’clock when I decided to try eating again. Maybe more food would help. I went to the Mexican place and got a beef quesadilla (I can only eat ¼ of one) and some chips and guac. I ate the quesadilla and felt much better. I took my chips upstairs to munch on and shortly was feeling normal again. It was very strange. I usually can’t eat that much. And I don’t know what caused it. It was weird and a little scary.
I have been hitting the gym three days a week but I haven’t been pushing as hard as I should. I know I need to do a little more. At this point I have a little bit of a muffin top that I know will get better with more working out. I’m not so sure about my legs. They have always been chunky and where most of my weight likes to reside. They are starting to look kinda gross. I can tell I have a good amount of extra skin on them. My doctor had thought that extra skin there wouldn’t be a problem but it is not bouncing back like she had thought. I am starting to worry about it. Has this happened to anyone else? Let me know. In the mean time, love to you all and I will post again soon!
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
I'm Baaack!!!
Long time no Blog Everyone! I’m so sorry it’s been a while since I wrote. Things have been very crazy for me. My boyfriend Coach, bought a house and closed on Dec 17th. We moved in together and spent our first night in our new house on January 1st. So I spent two weeks cleaning and moving and getting the house ready. Coach also got a new job which kept him from being able to help me with all the moving stuff. We also had some misfortune when Coach lost his uncle just before new years. So you can see that things have been crazy busy. But now it’s starting to slow down a bit. We have been in the house for two weeks now and we are starting to get adjusted to the new routine. I am really enjoying living with Coach. Also my sleeve is really helping out in the cooking department. I cook dinner for us and I only need to make two chicken breasts because I can only eat half of one and Coach can eat one and a half. So it’s perfect. No leftovers to worry about. It’s actually been great. He is very health conscious so he keeps me cooking good healthy food. I do have a problem at the grocery store though. My eyes are always bigger than my stomach so I end up buying a lot of stuff and then I never eat any of it. LOL. But I guess it would be worse if I did eat it. I have been drinking a little too much though. I love wine so I am always wanting to have some at night. Which is not good. I don’t need the sugar. It’s not like I want to get drunk, I just enjoy wine. So I am going to have to up myself control where that is concerned. I have continued to loose weight, even though it has slowed down a lot. But I’ve been happy to see the numbers on the scale dropping. In fact, Yesterday I decided to try on a pair of size 12 jeans because my 14’s were feeling a little big. I pulled them on and couldn’t believe it. I went running down the hall in nothing but my jeans and yelled to Coach “look at these pants!” he looked at them and said “They’re big” I squealed “I know! They’re 12s!!!!” and then did a half naked happy dance back down the hall to the bedroom. I was so excited! I realized that they are wide leg jeans but still, they are 12s. I’m going to have to try on some of my other twelve’s this week and see how many of them fit. So exciting. I used to be a size 10, sometimes 8 depending on the pants so I am almost to my goal size. I still have about thirty pounds to lose though so I may even get to my dream size of a six! I would be in heaven!
I have decided to do the five day pouch test to check out my sleeve and just help give my weight loss a little boost since I see my doctor again on Saturday. Today is the first day of the test and I already miss food. I just have the urge to eat. It’s weird, I guess it’s just mental, knowing that you can’t eat makes you want to. But I’m not hungry so far. Today I also go see the GI specialist my doctor recommended. Just to remind you, Two of my blood tests came back with high copper readings which is not normal for someone who has had the surgery. It’s not a good thing, excess copper can cause a lot of problems. So my doctor is sending me to a GI specialist to try to figure out the cause and see if I need some kind of treatment.
Well that pretty much brings you up to date. I swear I will remember to blog more often and I apologize for the long pause in my posts. Thanks for reading!
I have decided to do the five day pouch test to check out my sleeve and just help give my weight loss a little boost since I see my doctor again on Saturday. Today is the first day of the test and I already miss food. I just have the urge to eat. It’s weird, I guess it’s just mental, knowing that you can’t eat makes you want to. But I’m not hungry so far. Today I also go see the GI specialist my doctor recommended. Just to remind you, Two of my blood tests came back with high copper readings which is not normal for someone who has had the surgery. It’s not a good thing, excess copper can cause a lot of problems. So my doctor is sending me to a GI specialist to try to figure out the cause and see if I need some kind of treatment.
Well that pretty much brings you up to date. I swear I will remember to blog more often and I apologize for the long pause in my posts. Thanks for reading!
Monday, November 29, 2010
Post Holiday Confessions
Good Afternoon Readers!
So how did you all do with the holiday this past weekend? I did not do as well as I had hoped I would. I know my eyes are bigger then my stomach so I tried to keep the amounts on my plate small, but I still ended up cleaning my plate. I know I probably shouldn’t have had those last few bites of stuffing and I definitely should not have had the piece of pumpkin pie (even if it was small). I had about an hour or so between dinner and dessert but I still shouldn’t have eaten it. After I was done I realized that I didn’t enjoy it as much as I used to and I felt a little sick. I was disappointed in myself but I guess it could have been worse. I choose to have a little salad, turkey, and stuffing. Now at my house we actually had two kinds of stuffing along with sweet potatoes, cranberries, and bread. So at least I only ate my favorites and left the things that I didn’t care about as much off my plate to avoid eating more then I should. I also did not finish my salad so I guess I didn’t really clean my plate. I also only had one small glass of wine, which was not what I expected to happen. I figured that the way my family is sometimes that they would drive me to drink. But not this year, no real drama started which is good. It also made for a boring evening but boring is better then drama so I’ll take it.
I was bad this whole weekend though. I snacked more then I usually do, partially from hunger and partially from boredom, and I just didn’t make great choices. I also only got to the gym once last week. I think I need to get my scale fixed or buy a new one. Once I am weighing myself twice a week I’ll probably get my good habits back. I also drank too much this weekend. Wow, do any of you feel like my priest in the confessional right now? I really am spilling my sins for all of you. But I guess that is part of the change in attitudes that comes with the surgery. In the past I would hide my slip ups and not want to let people know my mistakes. Now I wear them right out in front like a scarlet letter in order to avoid repeating them. Shouting them from the rooftops makes me feel more accountable and encourages me to straighten up and act right.
A few weeks ago my brothers and I had portraits taken as a Christmas present for my mom. She said that she hasn’t had any new, professional pictures of us since we were in high school and that was what she wanted for Christmas. So we trotted down to the studio and had our pictures taken. I was a little disappointed. I was hoping to look at the pictures and say “Wow, I look so much better” but instead I saw that I am still very unproportioned. I noticed where my shirt caught at my stomach and felt like my ass was big enough to have a name, like Mount blubber butt or something. I guess that just tells me that I have more to lose. Which I already knew but after losing almost 70lbs you are so ecstatic by how good you feel sometimes you forget that the battle isn’t over yet. I also need to make my lazy butt get to the gym. It wasn’t just my schedule this week keeping me away and I know it. I am planning to try to go to a spin class this week. I tried spin last year around this time and it was an unholy nightmare. I didn’t have the energy or the stamina for it. The room was so hot I felt like I was dying and I ended up with a very black and blue butt. I didn’t even make it through the second class I went to because it hurt so much just to sit on those horrible seats. That might still be a problem, but I’m betting that being 70lbs lighter will make it a little bit easier on me. If I could add one class in a week it would probably go a long way towards getting rid of that Mount Blubber Butt ass of mine. I hold most of my weight in my butt and thighs so getting them moving more will probably help. I can’t really run because I have a bad knee so I need to keep to low impact stuff.
So I guess that is the plan, get my calories back on track, drink less, go to the gym more, and try spinning again. Wish me luck!
So how did you all do with the holiday this past weekend? I did not do as well as I had hoped I would. I know my eyes are bigger then my stomach so I tried to keep the amounts on my plate small, but I still ended up cleaning my plate. I know I probably shouldn’t have had those last few bites of stuffing and I definitely should not have had the piece of pumpkin pie (even if it was small). I had about an hour or so between dinner and dessert but I still shouldn’t have eaten it. After I was done I realized that I didn’t enjoy it as much as I used to and I felt a little sick. I was disappointed in myself but I guess it could have been worse. I choose to have a little salad, turkey, and stuffing. Now at my house we actually had two kinds of stuffing along with sweet potatoes, cranberries, and bread. So at least I only ate my favorites and left the things that I didn’t care about as much off my plate to avoid eating more then I should. I also did not finish my salad so I guess I didn’t really clean my plate. I also only had one small glass of wine, which was not what I expected to happen. I figured that the way my family is sometimes that they would drive me to drink. But not this year, no real drama started which is good. It also made for a boring evening but boring is better then drama so I’ll take it.
I was bad this whole weekend though. I snacked more then I usually do, partially from hunger and partially from boredom, and I just didn’t make great choices. I also only got to the gym once last week. I think I need to get my scale fixed or buy a new one. Once I am weighing myself twice a week I’ll probably get my good habits back. I also drank too much this weekend. Wow, do any of you feel like my priest in the confessional right now? I really am spilling my sins for all of you. But I guess that is part of the change in attitudes that comes with the surgery. In the past I would hide my slip ups and not want to let people know my mistakes. Now I wear them right out in front like a scarlet letter in order to avoid repeating them. Shouting them from the rooftops makes me feel more accountable and encourages me to straighten up and act right.
A few weeks ago my brothers and I had portraits taken as a Christmas present for my mom. She said that she hasn’t had any new, professional pictures of us since we were in high school and that was what she wanted for Christmas. So we trotted down to the studio and had our pictures taken. I was a little disappointed. I was hoping to look at the pictures and say “Wow, I look so much better” but instead I saw that I am still very unproportioned. I noticed where my shirt caught at my stomach and felt like my ass was big enough to have a name, like Mount blubber butt or something. I guess that just tells me that I have more to lose. Which I already knew but after losing almost 70lbs you are so ecstatic by how good you feel sometimes you forget that the battle isn’t over yet. I also need to make my lazy butt get to the gym. It wasn’t just my schedule this week keeping me away and I know it. I am planning to try to go to a spin class this week. I tried spin last year around this time and it was an unholy nightmare. I didn’t have the energy or the stamina for it. The room was so hot I felt like I was dying and I ended up with a very black and blue butt. I didn’t even make it through the second class I went to because it hurt so much just to sit on those horrible seats. That might still be a problem, but I’m betting that being 70lbs lighter will make it a little bit easier on me. If I could add one class in a week it would probably go a long way towards getting rid of that Mount Blubber Butt ass of mine. I hold most of my weight in my butt and thighs so getting them moving more will probably help. I can’t really run because I have a bad knee so I need to keep to low impact stuff.
So I guess that is the plan, get my calories back on track, drink less, go to the gym more, and try spinning again. Wish me luck!
Friday, November 19, 2010
6 Month Sleevaversary!!!!!!!
Hello readers!
I know it’s been a little while since I’ve written. Today is my six month sleevaversary! Six months ago today I was in the hospital getting my new tiny tummy. Wow it’s gone by fast. I’m a little disappointed that I haven’t lost as much as I had wanted to by this time. But still I’ve lost almost 70lbs and that’s not too shabby. My original goal was to be down to my goal weight by Christmas. That’s not going to happen now but I am hoping to be there by the end of February.
My doctor is very happy with my progress. He says I’m doing just right. At this point I tend to take in somewhere between 600-700 calories a day on average. I do my best to never go over 800 calories. I am trying to increase my protein intake though. I thought I had found a correlation between the amount of protein I took in and the amount of weight I lost. But now it’s looking like I was wrong. But I still think it’s a good idea to take in a little more.
I work out three days a week with Coach. Right now my routine has become 15 minutes on the elliptical and then an hour on the bike. I have a bad knee so I have to do things that are low impact. I originally was lifting weights but then my doctor told me not to. He said that weights will increase my muscle and so I will be heavier. For right now while I am still trying to get to my goal weight he just wants me to do the cardio. Once I hit my goal weight I’ll start adding the weights back in. I want to increase my workouts to four days a week but it’s really hard to find the time. I work full time and I have a part time job that I do on nights and weekends so that makes my free time a little sparse.
I have developed a weird pattern to loosing. I will go for one or two weeks without losing anything and then I will just drop two or three pounds. Then I’ll go another two weeks without losing again. My doctor said that is fine. He said as long as I’m still losing its ok. My body is just fighting to keep the weight. It doesn’t want to lose. He said that if I start going for longer periods without losing he will have me shock my system by doing one week on the pre-op diet and then three on the normal 800 calorie diet, then back to one week on the pre-op diet. You get the picture.
One thing that is concerning me a little bit is that my three month blood work came back a little strange. My doctor told me at my 6 month appointment that my copper levels were high. This is something that he never sees happen as a result of the surgery. I am due to go back for more blood work at the beginning of December. At that time, if my copper levels are high again he wants me to go see a specialist. If they are normal then the first reading was just a fluke. But if they are high it could be indicating a problem. I looked it up and apparently high copper is caused by something called Wilson’s disease. It is a genetic disease that means your body doesn’t filter copper out of your system like it is supposed to. If it is not discovered and treated the copper builds up and causes liver failure, neurological problems, tumors and all kinds of fun stuff. But it is treatable with medication to remove the copper. This WAS NOT caused by the surgery. If I have it, it will be a blessing that I had the surgery because if I hadn’t, no one would have checked my copper levels until I started experiencing symptoms. And it’s still possible that it was a fluke and that everything is fine. It’s making me a little nervous but I’m trying to be positive and just wait until the results come in.
I’m also a little worried that I have stretched out my sleeve a little. When I first had surgery I could barely eat 4 oz of soup and when I bought salad at the salad bar at work, it usually came out to 2.50$ (they charge you by the weight of the salad) and I could not always finish that. Now I have found that I can eat all four ounces and sometimes I can eat 6, or even 8 of soup. I have also found that my salads are now costing closer to 3.50$ and I usually do eat it all. I read that your stomach is swollen at first and that after the swelling goes down we would be able to eat more but my doctor said “stop it, you are stretching it” so I’m not sure. I’m trying to watch and be careful about how much I’m eating. I realized that I have not gotten sick after eating since sometime in September. Which I thought was a good thing. I thought I was adjusting to eating the right amounts. I didn’t get sick after I ate often (maybe once a week, or maybe twice) and not always because I ate too much, sometimes I ate too fast or didn’t chew well enough. I was also getting sick a lot less then the Aunt. She said she felt bulimic she was throwing up so much. So I thought I was just learning to eat the right amount. Now I’m a little worried that I just stretched my sleeve. I REALLY don’t want to stretch my sleeve!!!!!!! So I’m trying to be much more careful of how much I eat and to slow down a bit too.
So this is my status at my six month sleevaversary. Here are my stats
-67lbs
-8 inches at my hips
-7 inches at my waist
Size 16, bordering on 14 I think.
I want to lose another 30-40lbs. I’ll be happy with 30 because then I will be at the adult weight I maintained the longest but if I can lose 40 I’ll be at my lowest adult weight again. I’d also like to get back into a size 10 or 8 pant. I used to wear either size depending on the style. If I could get into a 6 I would be ecstatic because that is what I used to be up top and if I could actually be proportional for a change I would be in heaven. So those are my goals. I think I can get to my goal by March 1st. What do you all think?
Just in case anyone out there reading is new to the sleeve or my story I will tell you that I would not trade a minute of the last six months. Even on those bad tummy days when I was stuck with my head in the toilet or right surgery when the gas pain kept me up all night. It was all worth it! I would do it all again if I had to make the choice knowing what I know now. I feel so much better! I feel healthier and more energized, I feel more self confident and happy. Food doesn’t rule my life or haunt my nightmares. It was the best decision I ever made!
I know it’s been a little while since I’ve written. Today is my six month sleevaversary! Six months ago today I was in the hospital getting my new tiny tummy. Wow it’s gone by fast. I’m a little disappointed that I haven’t lost as much as I had wanted to by this time. But still I’ve lost almost 70lbs and that’s not too shabby. My original goal was to be down to my goal weight by Christmas. That’s not going to happen now but I am hoping to be there by the end of February.
My doctor is very happy with my progress. He says I’m doing just right. At this point I tend to take in somewhere between 600-700 calories a day on average. I do my best to never go over 800 calories. I am trying to increase my protein intake though. I thought I had found a correlation between the amount of protein I took in and the amount of weight I lost. But now it’s looking like I was wrong. But I still think it’s a good idea to take in a little more.
I work out three days a week with Coach. Right now my routine has become 15 minutes on the elliptical and then an hour on the bike. I have a bad knee so I have to do things that are low impact. I originally was lifting weights but then my doctor told me not to. He said that weights will increase my muscle and so I will be heavier. For right now while I am still trying to get to my goal weight he just wants me to do the cardio. Once I hit my goal weight I’ll start adding the weights back in. I want to increase my workouts to four days a week but it’s really hard to find the time. I work full time and I have a part time job that I do on nights and weekends so that makes my free time a little sparse.
I have developed a weird pattern to loosing. I will go for one or two weeks without losing anything and then I will just drop two or three pounds. Then I’ll go another two weeks without losing again. My doctor said that is fine. He said as long as I’m still losing its ok. My body is just fighting to keep the weight. It doesn’t want to lose. He said that if I start going for longer periods without losing he will have me shock my system by doing one week on the pre-op diet and then three on the normal 800 calorie diet, then back to one week on the pre-op diet. You get the picture.
One thing that is concerning me a little bit is that my three month blood work came back a little strange. My doctor told me at my 6 month appointment that my copper levels were high. This is something that he never sees happen as a result of the surgery. I am due to go back for more blood work at the beginning of December. At that time, if my copper levels are high again he wants me to go see a specialist. If they are normal then the first reading was just a fluke. But if they are high it could be indicating a problem. I looked it up and apparently high copper is caused by something called Wilson’s disease. It is a genetic disease that means your body doesn’t filter copper out of your system like it is supposed to. If it is not discovered and treated the copper builds up and causes liver failure, neurological problems, tumors and all kinds of fun stuff. But it is treatable with medication to remove the copper. This WAS NOT caused by the surgery. If I have it, it will be a blessing that I had the surgery because if I hadn’t, no one would have checked my copper levels until I started experiencing symptoms. And it’s still possible that it was a fluke and that everything is fine. It’s making me a little nervous but I’m trying to be positive and just wait until the results come in.
I’m also a little worried that I have stretched out my sleeve a little. When I first had surgery I could barely eat 4 oz of soup and when I bought salad at the salad bar at work, it usually came out to 2.50$ (they charge you by the weight of the salad) and I could not always finish that. Now I have found that I can eat all four ounces and sometimes I can eat 6, or even 8 of soup. I have also found that my salads are now costing closer to 3.50$ and I usually do eat it all. I read that your stomach is swollen at first and that after the swelling goes down we would be able to eat more but my doctor said “stop it, you are stretching it” so I’m not sure. I’m trying to watch and be careful about how much I’m eating. I realized that I have not gotten sick after eating since sometime in September. Which I thought was a good thing. I thought I was adjusting to eating the right amounts. I didn’t get sick after I ate often (maybe once a week, or maybe twice) and not always because I ate too much, sometimes I ate too fast or didn’t chew well enough. I was also getting sick a lot less then the Aunt. She said she felt bulimic she was throwing up so much. So I thought I was just learning to eat the right amount. Now I’m a little worried that I just stretched my sleeve. I REALLY don’t want to stretch my sleeve!!!!!!! So I’m trying to be much more careful of how much I eat and to slow down a bit too.
So this is my status at my six month sleevaversary. Here are my stats
-67lbs
-8 inches at my hips
-7 inches at my waist
Size 16, bordering on 14 I think.
I want to lose another 30-40lbs. I’ll be happy with 30 because then I will be at the adult weight I maintained the longest but if I can lose 40 I’ll be at my lowest adult weight again. I’d also like to get back into a size 10 or 8 pant. I used to wear either size depending on the style. If I could get into a 6 I would be ecstatic because that is what I used to be up top and if I could actually be proportional for a change I would be in heaven. So those are my goals. I think I can get to my goal by March 1st. What do you all think?
Just in case anyone out there reading is new to the sleeve or my story I will tell you that I would not trade a minute of the last six months. Even on those bad tummy days when I was stuck with my head in the toilet or right surgery when the gas pain kept me up all night. It was all worth it! I would do it all again if I had to make the choice knowing what I know now. I feel so much better! I feel healthier and more energized, I feel more self confident and happy. Food doesn’t rule my life or haunt my nightmares. It was the best decision I ever made!
Thursday, October 28, 2010
The Little Black Dress
I’ve heard it said that all women need a little black dress. The little black dress is sexy and sophisticated. It can’t be dressed up or dressed down. It is sliming and stylish, a timeless classic. I have never had a little black dress before. Even when I was skinny before I hadn’t found one that I liked. Well I now own a little black dress. I was so excited when I bought it. (On sale too, originally 59.50, got it for 29.50). I ordered the dress online because I thought that the style might flatter me and the price was right. I figured if it didn’t fit (which I was betting it wouldn’t) I would just send it back. I got it in the mail and I couldn’t believe what happened when I put it on. It fit and looked good. Of course Mummy-dearest, my toughest critic, felt the need to inform me that my legs are too chunky and it would look better once I’ve lost more weight. But I figure if that is the worst she had to say then it was probably alright.
So I wore it last night and got a great reaction. Everyone told me how great I looked. Coach really liked it. Aunt Superficial told me I looked stupendous. I was feeling self conscious because I had never worn this sort of dress before but it seemed to go over well. We were at a dedication for new area of our local hospital. I did realize shortly after we got there that it was a little low cut to be wearing around my grandfather, and later in the evening once I got home I even ended up having it slip a little too low and show off my new bra. But still I consider it a success. Pictures are soon to follow.
Also, I have had a bit of a stall for the last few weeks. I have been getting really frustrated. This week I have seriously cut down on my calories and upped my work out. Yesterday before pumpkin time I weighed myself to find that I had broken the stall and lost two pounds. Now I just have to keep the loosing going. Hopefully I can. I also realized that I have not gotten sick in a long while. I don’t remember the last time I ate too much, too fast, or the wrong thing and made myself sick. So that’s gotta be a good sign. I did notice that those weeks where I wasn’t losing my protein was down a bit. So next week I may experiment and see what happens if I increase my calories and protein a bit. Will I keep losing or not? Hmmm. We will see.
So I wore it last night and got a great reaction. Everyone told me how great I looked. Coach really liked it. Aunt Superficial told me I looked stupendous. I was feeling self conscious because I had never worn this sort of dress before but it seemed to go over well. We were at a dedication for new area of our local hospital. I did realize shortly after we got there that it was a little low cut to be wearing around my grandfather, and later in the evening once I got home I even ended up having it slip a little too low and show off my new bra. But still I consider it a success. Pictures are soon to follow.
Also, I have had a bit of a stall for the last few weeks. I have been getting really frustrated. This week I have seriously cut down on my calories and upped my work out. Yesterday before pumpkin time I weighed myself to find that I had broken the stall and lost two pounds. Now I just have to keep the loosing going. Hopefully I can. I also realized that I have not gotten sick in a long while. I don’t remember the last time I ate too much, too fast, or the wrong thing and made myself sick. So that’s gotta be a good sign. I did notice that those weeks where I wasn’t losing my protein was down a bit. So next week I may experiment and see what happens if I increase my calories and protein a bit. Will I keep losing or not? Hmmm. We will see.
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