Clothes Horse

Good Afternoon readers! Sorry I haven’t written in a bit but I haven’t had much to report lately. I feel great today. I have been spending too much money updating my fall wardrobe and enjoying it. I’m trying not to buy too much because I am still shrinking but I’ve had to buy some things. I only have two pairs of pants in the size I am wearing now so I had to buy another pair. I don’t have any in the next size down so I have ordered a few so I am prepared when I drop my next size. I have bought some tops and sweaters but a lot of those will fit as I lose. My upper body always looses weight first. Right now I’m really in-between so I have a tiny waist but huge hips. I carry most of my weight in my lower body so it takes longer to lose there. Some of the tops might get too big but most probably won’t. They’ll just fit better or a little loose. Not a problem.


Of course though my mother has to tell me how fat my thighs look and how I dress badly and don’t hide it. Sorry I choose not to live in sweat pants but I actually leave the house. Today I am wearing a completely new outfit and I love it. Surprisingly enough Mummy dearest actually loved it too. That is a rarity. So I’m feeling pretty today. I wish Coach could see me but I won’t see him until we go to the gym tonight. We have been very bad and have taken the last two weeks off and we need to kick our routine back in.

Coach’s parents have been so supportive. Every time I go over to his house his mother says “I can’t believe how skinny you look” and yesterday his dad pointed out that my pants are getting too big. Coach is so wonderful too. He was worried that their comments might bother me. I told him no, they don’t. Since Mummy-dearest has been so nasty with her comments lately it’s nice to have someone tell me I look good. My friend Sweets is trying to lose weight now too. Her sister is getting married and she wants to look good for the wedding. She has trouble finding a diet plan that works for her too. I suggested she look into the sleeve. I don’t know if it would be the right thing for her but researching it would help her determine that for herself. She decided against it though. She has been using weight watchers and says its working. So I’m happy for her. I think that those few miserable moments would be harder on her then they were on me so she probably made the right choice.

Also I am reminded that you really need to be determined and committed for this tool to help you. The Aunt said to me the other day that she walked all over on her vacation and didn’t lose a pound. The way she said it made me think “what do you want me to do about it” Like it was my fault or something. (Actually she decided to do this first, I was just the one who made the doctor’s appointment and had the surgery first). I asked her what she ate on vacation and she said “I didn’t have any desserts” which made me think that she probably wasn’t eating the best meals if she only mentioned no desserts. But the thing is I can have dessert. I do sometimes. I just don’t all the time. The bottom line is that it comes down to how committed you are. She didn’t read the research I gathered before the surgery. She hasn’t followed up with the dietitian. She didn’t follow the diet. She says she feels bulimic from all the throwing up she does. If she is getting sick that often then she is eating too much and hasn’t learned to listen to her body. She should have learned that by now. Not to say that I don’t get sick. But it happens more and more rarely. Accidents happen but for the most part I have learned how much is right for my new tiny tummy. I feel bad for her because she got sleeved two weeks after me and has lost twenty pounds less than me. But she is doing it to herself. I keep wondering what our doctor says to her at her visits. Not that she tells him the truth about what she does anyway but I wonder what he says. Oh well sigh, can’t do anything about it.

Well folks, I just wanted to write a little something and keep you up to date on my progress. Keep reading and I’ll keep writing when I have something worth saying.

Wedding Bliss!

I had such a great weekend! A friend of mine got married this weekend and I went to the wedding with Coach. I dreaded having to find something to wear for this wedding (As you probably read in my last post). But with Diva’s help we did manage to find a dress I liked. Coach really liked my dress, which makes me happy. I felt a little self conscious at first because it’s been so long since I wore a dress and because I had to use this weird stick on bra to avoid straps and showing bra in the back. But it all worked out. I got a ton of compliments on the dress. Everyone loved it! One of the girls from the bachelorette party came up and said she could tell that I had lost more weight since the party. I smiled and said yes I had and thanked her for noticing. Coach and I talked to my friends and danced all night long. It was so much fun. The food was really good which was a bit of a problem. I thought I had done alright. I had eaten a little much but I was ok. Then I made that crucial mistake: I unconsciously took a sip from my water glass. The minute I swallowed I knew I was in trouble. I felt that little sip hit my already full stomach and make it too full. A few minutes later I was running to the bathroom to expel some of that extra meal. Luckily I felt much better afterwards and have perfected the art of throwing up without making a mess of myself. So I could go back to the party and pretend that nothing happened. I will admit that I drank a lot that night. Everyone did. But it wasn’t too bad. I was dancing so much I figured I probably burned those calories right back off and I only had a slight headache the next morning. The next day my stomach didn’t like me that much though. At least not for a while. I slept in and missed breakfast so I was really hungry when lunch came around. I started eating that too quickly so after a couple of bites I was feeling sick and couldn’t finish my lunch. But I did have a good dinner. So alls well that ends well. I had a fabulous time, I looked great, and I felt great. Pictures to follow soon!

Static cling issues here

The Perils of Dress Shopping

Welcome back readers! It’s back to work after the long holiday weekend. And what am I doing? Blogging for you folks, Nice huh? LOL


Anyway, I enjoyed my little break. Monday I got to take a big box of too big clothes over to my friend Diva’s house for her to see if she wants anything. After she is done trying them on I’ll take the rest and put it aside for consignment once I have more to add. That was kinda fun. It’s nice to be able to say that I am too skinny for those clothes. And it makes me feel good to be able to help her out a little because she doesn’t really have extra money for new clothes. A lot of those clothes are new and were only worn a few times or some were never worn at all.

Diva also went with me to find a dress for my friend’s wedding next weekend. Now that was not something I was looking forward to (dress shopping, I’m excited about the wedding). Dress shopping for me is usually a horrible experience. I realized that even when I liked my body there is some kind of strange voodoo with those dressing room mirrors that make you look like the Pillsbury Doughboy. No matter how happy you are with yourself those mirrors make the worst flaws jump out at you and consume your vision. Then, when you are already overweight the lighting makes you look in the mirror and say “Holy Cottage Cheese Ass!” and makes you feel terrible about yourself. Then add the extra shame of not being able to find anything in your size (because the only things left are size zero and no one who breaths can actually wear something that small). And the additional despair of finding that even the few things you can find in your size don’t fit right, don’t look good, or aren’t as cute as that sweater that is only available in Barbie doll size. Really shopping is a traumatic experience for so many people and can be even for those skinny Minnies out there too.

So I wasn’t not looking forward to this but I had nothing appropriate to wear to a wedding. I already went to the Bachelorette party in too casual an outfit and I was not doing that again. I was just glad that I finally hit the negative fifty pound mark and kept in mind that this was going to be so much easier then it would have been four months ago. So we trudged off to the mall determined to search every store until I found something to wear next weekend.

Then something surprising happened. I expected to find that no dresses fit me right because I carry most of my weight in my hips and thighs. I am so disproportionate that I have always had trouble with dresses, even at my lowest weight. But that was not my problem this time. I am wearing a size 16 pants which I found translated into a 14 dress in order to fit me up top (I do not have size 16 boobs). I found that a lot of the styles out there for dresses right now actually work with my shape. There are a lot of dresses that have poofy bottoms so when I put them on they make it look like it’s the dress and not me that poofs out at the hips. It actually hid my thighs. The problem came though, that a lot of those dresses are short. We are talking Butt Floss Short. I have never had attractive legs. As I said I carry my weight below the waist so my calves are chunky. Short does not work for me. The second problem was that everyone was out of my size (because most women actually prefer not to look like a victim of starvation) so most of the dresses that were available were in the itty-bitty-no room for flesh on this skeleton-sizes.

Our search became about finding something in my size and that was long enough to hide some of my cellulite thighs. We went to so many stores and I tried on so many dresses. But I wasn’t getting as upset as I usually do. I didn’t find it as depressing. I felt this time like it was less of a problem with me and more of a problem with stupid designers that make clothes to fit pre-teen boys instead of real women. Eventually I did find a dress that I liked, was a decent length, and looked nice on me. It was also a style I would have never picked for myself, assuming it wouldn’t fit right. But Diva knows her clothes and I was desperate so I tried on anything she wanted me to try. I did spend a little more than I wanted but I think it will be worth it. I may even be able to have the dress taken in when I lose weight so I can keep it after this. Overall it was a successful shopping trip. I haven’t had one of those in a long time. I also forgot that shopping in stores can be fun because you can see a lot of different styles and ways to wear the clothes which you don’t always see when you shop online (that is how I have done all my shopping for years to avoid those evil dressing room mirrors).

I was glad to actually go home from a shopping trip satisfied and not hating myself. All I can say is THANK YOU to my new tiny tummy. Getting sleeved was a god-sent! Hopefully I’ll be able to post some pics from the wedding next week.  :)

The Big 5 Oh!

Just a quick update. The reduced calories seem to be working. I've finally lost those annoying two pounds and hit the 50 pound mark! It's been just over 3 months and I've lost 50 pounds! I've almost hit the half way point to my goal!