The Perils of Dress Shopping

Welcome back readers! It’s back to work after the long holiday weekend. And what am I doing? Blogging for you folks, Nice huh? LOL


Anyway, I enjoyed my little break. Monday I got to take a big box of too big clothes over to my friend Diva’s house for her to see if she wants anything. After she is done trying them on I’ll take the rest and put it aside for consignment once I have more to add. That was kinda fun. It’s nice to be able to say that I am too skinny for those clothes. And it makes me feel good to be able to help her out a little because she doesn’t really have extra money for new clothes. A lot of those clothes are new and were only worn a few times or some were never worn at all.

Diva also went with me to find a dress for my friend’s wedding next weekend. Now that was not something I was looking forward to (dress shopping, I’m excited about the wedding). Dress shopping for me is usually a horrible experience. I realized that even when I liked my body there is some kind of strange voodoo with those dressing room mirrors that make you look like the Pillsbury Doughboy. No matter how happy you are with yourself those mirrors make the worst flaws jump out at you and consume your vision. Then, when you are already overweight the lighting makes you look in the mirror and say “Holy Cottage Cheese Ass!” and makes you feel terrible about yourself. Then add the extra shame of not being able to find anything in your size (because the only things left are size zero and no one who breaths can actually wear something that small). And the additional despair of finding that even the few things you can find in your size don’t fit right, don’t look good, or aren’t as cute as that sweater that is only available in Barbie doll size. Really shopping is a traumatic experience for so many people and can be even for those skinny Minnies out there too.

So I wasn’t not looking forward to this but I had nothing appropriate to wear to a wedding. I already went to the Bachelorette party in too casual an outfit and I was not doing that again. I was just glad that I finally hit the negative fifty pound mark and kept in mind that this was going to be so much easier then it would have been four months ago. So we trudged off to the mall determined to search every store until I found something to wear next weekend.

Then something surprising happened. I expected to find that no dresses fit me right because I carry most of my weight in my hips and thighs. I am so disproportionate that I have always had trouble with dresses, even at my lowest weight. But that was not my problem this time. I am wearing a size 16 pants which I found translated into a 14 dress in order to fit me up top (I do not have size 16 boobs). I found that a lot of the styles out there for dresses right now actually work with my shape. There are a lot of dresses that have poofy bottoms so when I put them on they make it look like it’s the dress and not me that poofs out at the hips. It actually hid my thighs. The problem came though, that a lot of those dresses are short. We are talking Butt Floss Short. I have never had attractive legs. As I said I carry my weight below the waist so my calves are chunky. Short does not work for me. The second problem was that everyone was out of my size (because most women actually prefer not to look like a victim of starvation) so most of the dresses that were available were in the itty-bitty-no room for flesh on this skeleton-sizes.

Our search became about finding something in my size and that was long enough to hide some of my cellulite thighs. We went to so many stores and I tried on so many dresses. But I wasn’t getting as upset as I usually do. I didn’t find it as depressing. I felt this time like it was less of a problem with me and more of a problem with stupid designers that make clothes to fit pre-teen boys instead of real women. Eventually I did find a dress that I liked, was a decent length, and looked nice on me. It was also a style I would have never picked for myself, assuming it wouldn’t fit right. But Diva knows her clothes and I was desperate so I tried on anything she wanted me to try. I did spend a little more than I wanted but I think it will be worth it. I may even be able to have the dress taken in when I lose weight so I can keep it after this. Overall it was a successful shopping trip. I haven’t had one of those in a long time. I also forgot that shopping in stores can be fun because you can see a lot of different styles and ways to wear the clothes which you don’t always see when you shop online (that is how I have done all my shopping for years to avoid those evil dressing room mirrors).

I was glad to actually go home from a shopping trip satisfied and not hating myself. All I can say is THANK YOU to my new tiny tummy. Getting sleeved was a god-sent! Hopefully I’ll be able to post some pics from the wedding next week.  :)