Who is that Chick in the Mirror?

Who is that Chick in the mirror?


I’ve found myself asking that more and more lately. It’s kinda funny to look in the mirror and not recognize yourself right away. I guess it means that due to my weight loss my mental image hasn’t caught up to the image that gets reflected back to me.

I first experienced this a few weeks ago. My cousin had her first communion and her mom (Red) took pictures of her with everyone at the party. Then she sent them to us with a thank you card. When I got the card, I didn’t recognize myself in the picture. I actually spent a few seconds wondering who that was with my cousin. It was a little shocking to realize that it was me. My face just didn’t look the same. It wasn’t what I expected. Next I started experiencing this at work. I would walk past a mirror or something reflective and I would think, “who is that professional looking woman?” and then I would realize it was me. I would see myself and think that “that woman has long legs” and then realize those were my legs. I don’t have long legs. Infact I have short and chunky legs, that’s where all my weight goes. But now, I can wear clothes that give me an illusion of having long legs. I never could do that before. I keep having these experiences where it takes a moment before I recognize myself. It’s a very weird feeling. I wonder how long it will take before my mental image catches up to my physical image? It makes me wonder what will happen when I reach my goal. Because even now, 80 lbs later, I still feel like the fat girl. I still feel fat running right to my thighs when I indulge in something. I still feel huge defeat if I haven’t lost any weight, or (Heaven forbid!) I gain a pound (which is probably water anyway). I’ll post some pictures later to demonstrate what I expect to see in the mirror and what I actually see. Thanks for reading!

December 2009

January 2011