Saturday was my three month check up with my surgeon. He was happy with me because I have continued to lose weight and he says my incisions are healing nicely. I talked to him about my stall and he said he had the answer to why I’ve stopped losing. I’m taking in too many calories. He says I need to cut back from my 800 to 600 calories. And I should increase my cardio. Yippee(I’m sure you can hear my enthusiasm).
In some ways it’s not a big deal to cut back. I mean it’s only two hundred calories and It’s not like I’ll be hungry. But it’s difficult to get enough protein with only 600 calories and it means I really have to limit my choices. Not much variety for me anymore. My plan for my basic diet is
Breakfast : Oatmeal ( I usually only eat half a package of sugar free instant but sometimes a whole one) 55-110 calories
Lunch: veggies with a little ranch dressing and a Carnation Instant breakfast shake ( about 200 calories)
Snack: ½ a bottle of Isopure Protein water (75 calories)
Dinner: Carnation Instant Breakfast (150 calories)
That will leave me with a little bit left over for a small snack if I am hungry. Yippee. Very boring. I might be able to substitute a cup of soup for lunch some times. Hopefully this will start working and my weight loss will start up again. Then I’ll feel more motivated to stick to this diet.
On a Non-diet related note: I got a new car this weekend!!! I am so excited. I have been saving for a long time to buy myself a new car. Luckily my brother just got a job at Ford so I got his discount, and I got a really good price on my trade in. So I had just enough for my new car. I love it. It’s so nice and fun to have a new car!
Monday, August 30, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
A Shout Out and a Rant
Good Morning Readers! First thing, I have to give a big shout out and Congratulations to the Wanning Woman for hitting her 100 pound loss! Big cheers for her joining the Centruary club! I’m so happy for you! And a little jealous which is small of me.
So Saturday is my next visit to my surgeon and I am so frustrated! My weight loss slowed down and now it has just stalled completely. ARGH! I even changed out the batteries in my scale, hoping that it was inaccurate because it was flashing low battery. No such luck! So Tuesday I started a semi liquid diet to try to jump start the weight loss. Sometimes changing what you are eating helps. I am trying not to drop calories though. I am trying to keep to my 800 calories but use this to change what I am eating and to up my protein. I have a protein shake for breakfast, I eat real food for lunch, I have my protein water for an afternoon snack (no sugar, 40gm of protein 160 calories), and then a protein shake for dinner. If I feel hungry or need more calories I have something like a cheese stick for a snack. So far nothing has happened. It hasn’t helped. If I don’t get some movement by the weekend I will go completely back to the pre-op liquid diet. I am at -48lbs and I want to at least hit fifty by Saturday. I should have lost 56 right now to stay on course to loose everything in six months.
To add to the frustration/confusion of all this my pants feel loose. I don’t get it. I haven’t lost a pound since I first started wearing these pants last Monday. Last Monday I wore these pants for the first time and they were a little tight. Since them I have worn them a few times and I have washed and dryed them. I thought they would be tight again after washing them but no, they aren’t. They feel loose and they look a little loose too. I don’t get it. While that is good it just adds to the frustration.
Saturday I went to a BBQ with some bigger friends of my boyfriend’s. I was doing ok at first just nibbling at the chips and dip. But when they brought out burgers earlier then I was ready for I was worried everyone would notice how little I was eating compared to everyone else. Between that and everything to drink being carbonated I was almost ready to come clean about my surgery. But I didn’t. I managed to sit behind a ton of chip bags so no one saw my plate. But ever since I have been wanting carbs. It’s weird. I haven’t had food cravings much since surgery. If I do have them it has been just a twinge that I could ignore. But the last few days it’s been annoying. I don’t know why I just want to eat chips and pizza. My work provided pizza for lunch the other day and I had one piece but since then I have wanted more. It’s just so strange to have cravings and it’s weird to crave something that I can barely eat. I mean I can have a few bites but they fill me up quickly. Usually if I can only eat a tiny bit of something, I loose my craving after I think of that. Very strange.
Well everyone, Wish me luck and cross your fingers that I manage to end this stall. Thanks!
So Saturday is my next visit to my surgeon and I am so frustrated! My weight loss slowed down and now it has just stalled completely. ARGH! I even changed out the batteries in my scale, hoping that it was inaccurate because it was flashing low battery. No such luck! So Tuesday I started a semi liquid diet to try to jump start the weight loss. Sometimes changing what you are eating helps. I am trying not to drop calories though. I am trying to keep to my 800 calories but use this to change what I am eating and to up my protein. I have a protein shake for breakfast, I eat real food for lunch, I have my protein water for an afternoon snack (no sugar, 40gm of protein 160 calories), and then a protein shake for dinner. If I feel hungry or need more calories I have something like a cheese stick for a snack. So far nothing has happened. It hasn’t helped. If I don’t get some movement by the weekend I will go completely back to the pre-op liquid diet. I am at -48lbs and I want to at least hit fifty by Saturday. I should have lost 56 right now to stay on course to loose everything in six months.
To add to the frustration/confusion of all this my pants feel loose. I don’t get it. I haven’t lost a pound since I first started wearing these pants last Monday. Last Monday I wore these pants for the first time and they were a little tight. Since them I have worn them a few times and I have washed and dryed them. I thought they would be tight again after washing them but no, they aren’t. They feel loose and they look a little loose too. I don’t get it. While that is good it just adds to the frustration.
Saturday I went to a BBQ with some bigger friends of my boyfriend’s. I was doing ok at first just nibbling at the chips and dip. But when they brought out burgers earlier then I was ready for I was worried everyone would notice how little I was eating compared to everyone else. Between that and everything to drink being carbonated I was almost ready to come clean about my surgery. But I didn’t. I managed to sit behind a ton of chip bags so no one saw my plate. But ever since I have been wanting carbs. It’s weird. I haven’t had food cravings much since surgery. If I do have them it has been just a twinge that I could ignore. But the last few days it’s been annoying. I don’t know why I just want to eat chips and pizza. My work provided pizza for lunch the other day and I had one piece but since then I have wanted more. It’s just so strange to have cravings and it’s weird to crave something that I can barely eat. I mean I can have a few bites but they fill me up quickly. Usually if I can only eat a tiny bit of something, I loose my craving after I think of that. Very strange.
Well everyone, Wish me luck and cross your fingers that I manage to end this stall. Thanks!
Monday, August 16, 2010
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!
I had such a great weekend! One of my friends is getting married next month and this weekend was her bachelorette party. I was so excited to see her and my other former roommate. The night was such a blast! She had the party out of town so that we could all stay at a hotel together where the bars were walking distance away. That way no one would have to worry about driving.
I was a little worried about how to deal with the sleeve mixing with the party. First step, since I don’t want people to know about the surgery I had to make sure neither of my former roommates noticed my scars while I was changing into my party clothes. That one I managed pretty well. The other girls there wouldn’t notice because they don’t know me and wouldn’t know that the big scar on my belly button was a new thing. We decided to really make it an occasion we would all dress up. They wanted everyone in a dress but I don’t wear dresses. I am so bottom heavy that it is really hard to find dresses that fit me so I stay away from them (skirts also fit me terrible). So I ended up being the only one in pants. But what can you do?
We went to dinner first. The restaurant was pretty nice and I was worried about what to order. Luckily two of the other girls wanted to be careful of what they ate because they thought too much food with all the alcohol they would be drinking would make them sick. So we all ordered appetizers and split them. I thought I did a really good job about not eating too much. But when I got up to use the ladies room I found out I had another purpose for that trip. Luckily it wasn’t too bad. Next we had tickets for a comedy show. It was upstairs in the same place we had dinner at. This was a little awkward. There was a two drink minimum at the comedy club. The show wasn’t very long and it was hard for me to drink two drinks in that time period. But by get one that was a little smaller I just managed it. At that point I was feeling a little happy because I haven’t had much liquor since my surgery. Pretty much only a little wine. I was worried that I was going to be really hung over the next day. Also I knew that with my new tiny tummy I couldn’t drink as much water to make up for all the bad drinks.
Next we went back to the hotel room for cake, gifts, and party games. I was so proud that I had no need for cake. I thought one bit would be nice but I didn’t want to waste the rest, so I just said no thank you. Everyone else managed to devour it. Next stop was a bar two blocks down the street. There we went straight to the bar for shots with the Bachelorette and then off to the dance floor! I think we danced for at least an hour. When I got too hot and the music turned to something I didn’t like I got a water to help me stay steady. We spent a little more time there dancing and hanging out. Then they decided to head back to the first place we had been. So we went back. I drank another glass of water and half of another drink. The Bachelorette was hungry at this point and we ordered pizza’s for the group. I had one small slice, which was appreciated by my tiny tummy after all of the dancing.
We spent a while just hanging out and talking there until the bar closed down. We walked back to the hotel where I bought a bottle of water to sip all night. We sat up and talked for a while and then headed to bed. A fun time was had by all. I was amazed that I didn’t get drunk and sloppy after not drinking in so long. But really I guess I had four or five drinks throughout a 7 hour period so that isn’t too bad. I was very happy to wake up the next morning exhausted, but not hung over. I actually felt pretty good except for wishing I could sleep longer. I then spent the day with my friend Sweets. I never get to see her and since I was out her way I stopped by for the day. I can’t believe how little I ate that day! I didn’t have breakfast because we got up late and there was nothing I could grab quickly. I had lunch with Sweets but I only picked at it. I thought I would normally have eaten more but I got full quick. We hung out all day and then ordered Chinese food for dinner. Again I ate a fraction of what I thought I should have been able to. But four bites and I was full. So I listened to my tummy and let it be. I did start to feel hungry around ten PM but at that point I was climbing in bed and just too tired to eat. How great is that! I don’t think I could ever have done that pre-sleeve. I would have had to eat or I wouldn’t have slept. Gotta Love it!
So my tiny tummy and I had an exciting and enjoyable weekend together and managed to get through with only one minor incident. I think we are finally learning to co-exsist.
I was a little worried about how to deal with the sleeve mixing with the party. First step, since I don’t want people to know about the surgery I had to make sure neither of my former roommates noticed my scars while I was changing into my party clothes. That one I managed pretty well. The other girls there wouldn’t notice because they don’t know me and wouldn’t know that the big scar on my belly button was a new thing. We decided to really make it an occasion we would all dress up. They wanted everyone in a dress but I don’t wear dresses. I am so bottom heavy that it is really hard to find dresses that fit me so I stay away from them (skirts also fit me terrible). So I ended up being the only one in pants. But what can you do?
We went to dinner first. The restaurant was pretty nice and I was worried about what to order. Luckily two of the other girls wanted to be careful of what they ate because they thought too much food with all the alcohol they would be drinking would make them sick. So we all ordered appetizers and split them. I thought I did a really good job about not eating too much. But when I got up to use the ladies room I found out I had another purpose for that trip. Luckily it wasn’t too bad. Next we had tickets for a comedy show. It was upstairs in the same place we had dinner at. This was a little awkward. There was a two drink minimum at the comedy club. The show wasn’t very long and it was hard for me to drink two drinks in that time period. But by get one that was a little smaller I just managed it. At that point I was feeling a little happy because I haven’t had much liquor since my surgery. Pretty much only a little wine. I was worried that I was going to be really hung over the next day. Also I knew that with my new tiny tummy I couldn’t drink as much water to make up for all the bad drinks.
Next we went back to the hotel room for cake, gifts, and party games. I was so proud that I had no need for cake. I thought one bit would be nice but I didn’t want to waste the rest, so I just said no thank you. Everyone else managed to devour it. Next stop was a bar two blocks down the street. There we went straight to the bar for shots with the Bachelorette and then off to the dance floor! I think we danced for at least an hour. When I got too hot and the music turned to something I didn’t like I got a water to help me stay steady. We spent a little more time there dancing and hanging out. Then they decided to head back to the first place we had been. So we went back. I drank another glass of water and half of another drink. The Bachelorette was hungry at this point and we ordered pizza’s for the group. I had one small slice, which was appreciated by my tiny tummy after all of the dancing.
We spent a while just hanging out and talking there until the bar closed down. We walked back to the hotel where I bought a bottle of water to sip all night. We sat up and talked for a while and then headed to bed. A fun time was had by all. I was amazed that I didn’t get drunk and sloppy after not drinking in so long. But really I guess I had four or five drinks throughout a 7 hour period so that isn’t too bad. I was very happy to wake up the next morning exhausted, but not hung over. I actually felt pretty good except for wishing I could sleep longer. I then spent the day with my friend Sweets. I never get to see her and since I was out her way I stopped by for the day. I can’t believe how little I ate that day! I didn’t have breakfast because we got up late and there was nothing I could grab quickly. I had lunch with Sweets but I only picked at it. I thought I would normally have eaten more but I got full quick. We hung out all day and then ordered Chinese food for dinner. Again I ate a fraction of what I thought I should have been able to. But four bites and I was full. So I listened to my tummy and let it be. I did start to feel hungry around ten PM but at that point I was climbing in bed and just too tired to eat. How great is that! I don’t think I could ever have done that pre-sleeve. I would have had to eat or I wouldn’t have slept. Gotta Love it!
So my tiny tummy and I had an exciting and enjoyable weekend together and managed to get through with only one minor incident. I think we are finally learning to co-exsist.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Stall!
Good Afternoon friends!
I hope everyone out there in Cyberland is doing well. I am currently full of frustration. I have only lost half a pound this week. I know that stalls are normal and that everyone goes through them. But the timing on this one really sucks! I think that is the most frustrating part. I have lost 44.5 lbs and I am soooo close to that fifty pound mark. I want to hit it so badly! I’ve been trying to be really careful not to go over my 800 calories and stay away from sugar but it doesn’t seem to be helping. Two weeks of only losing two pounds and now a stall! Argh! And I have a doctor’s appointment in two weeks! My goal was to be down 56lbs by then! My doctor told me that I could lose all the weight I want to lose in six months if I am good. That would require me to lose three pounds a week. That way I would be a skinny Minnie for Christmas and start off the New Year as a New Woman! But I am so afraid that stalls will keep that from happening.
It is really frustrating to me. Even with all of my weight loss so far, I don’t really feel smaller. I don’t feel like I’ve lost weight. I know I have. I can see the number on the scale. My clothes are too big. But I guess I still feel like a fat girl. I keep weighting to feel like I’m different and I haven’t. I felt a little different on vacation this year because I wasn’t as embarrassed in my bathing suit. But then I saw some pictures and was still disgusted with how big I am. So that doesn’t make me happy. I did like seeing a picture that Coach took of me on Christmas Eve last year with the camera I had gotten him. I compared that to a picture that he took on vacation and I couldn’t believe the difference in my face. Those are in my last post if you are curious. But I still just don’t feel the loss yet.
I know I need to work out more. I definitely pushed harder this week but I’m not going to be able to get more days in because I’m going away this weekend. I’m probably not going to feel skinny this weekend either. I’m going to a friend’s bachelorette party and there will be tons of pretty, skinny girls there. We are supposed to wear a dress but I don’t wear dresses. They don’t fit me right because I carry most of my weight in my butt and thighs. So I will probably end up being the only one there in pants. I know I need to get more protein in too. I was doing really well but since my vacation I’ve had trouble getting back in good habits. Sigh.
I know I shouldn’t be complaining. I had a stall right after surgery but it’s been almost three months and I have been losing at a good rate. I was due for this. But I guess knowing that it is normal and will pass doesn’t help keep the frustration at bay. I am also at in between sizes right now which doesn’t help. My 18 pants are all too big and my 16 pants are all just a little too small. Plus all of the shirts that are the next size down are just tight in the arms. Everywhere else they fit. Argh! I was hoping to see my box of too big clothes fill up faster then it has been. Well maybe some girl time is a good thing to distract me. Hopefully some partying will put me in a better frame of mind.
I hope everyone out there in Cyberland is doing well. I am currently full of frustration. I have only lost half a pound this week. I know that stalls are normal and that everyone goes through them. But the timing on this one really sucks! I think that is the most frustrating part. I have lost 44.5 lbs and I am soooo close to that fifty pound mark. I want to hit it so badly! I’ve been trying to be really careful not to go over my 800 calories and stay away from sugar but it doesn’t seem to be helping. Two weeks of only losing two pounds and now a stall! Argh! And I have a doctor’s appointment in two weeks! My goal was to be down 56lbs by then! My doctor told me that I could lose all the weight I want to lose in six months if I am good. That would require me to lose three pounds a week. That way I would be a skinny Minnie for Christmas and start off the New Year as a New Woman! But I am so afraid that stalls will keep that from happening.
It is really frustrating to me. Even with all of my weight loss so far, I don’t really feel smaller. I don’t feel like I’ve lost weight. I know I have. I can see the number on the scale. My clothes are too big. But I guess I still feel like a fat girl. I keep weighting to feel like I’m different and I haven’t. I felt a little different on vacation this year because I wasn’t as embarrassed in my bathing suit. But then I saw some pictures and was still disgusted with how big I am. So that doesn’t make me happy. I did like seeing a picture that Coach took of me on Christmas Eve last year with the camera I had gotten him. I compared that to a picture that he took on vacation and I couldn’t believe the difference in my face. Those are in my last post if you are curious. But I still just don’t feel the loss yet.
I know I need to work out more. I definitely pushed harder this week but I’m not going to be able to get more days in because I’m going away this weekend. I’m probably not going to feel skinny this weekend either. I’m going to a friend’s bachelorette party and there will be tons of pretty, skinny girls there. We are supposed to wear a dress but I don’t wear dresses. They don’t fit me right because I carry most of my weight in my butt and thighs. So I will probably end up being the only one there in pants. I know I need to get more protein in too. I was doing really well but since my vacation I’ve had trouble getting back in good habits. Sigh.
I know I shouldn’t be complaining. I had a stall right after surgery but it’s been almost three months and I have been losing at a good rate. I was due for this. But I guess knowing that it is normal and will pass doesn’t help keep the frustration at bay. I am also at in between sizes right now which doesn’t help. My 18 pants are all too big and my 16 pants are all just a little too small. Plus all of the shirts that are the next size down are just tight in the arms. Everywhere else they fit. Argh! I was hoping to see my box of too big clothes fill up faster then it has been. Well maybe some girl time is a good thing to distract me. Hopefully some partying will put me in a better frame of mind.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Pictures
Ok. I have been asked to post some before and after pictures. Please remember that I still have a lot of weight to loose
Christmas 2009
Christmas 2009
July 2010
July 2009
July 2010
July 2008
July 2010
A Sleever's worst nightmare
I had something funny but not so funny happen this weekend. You see, Coach and I do not have a lot of friends who live in the area any more. So most evenings are spent with the two of us and a movie. I have been wanting to get together with one of his friends and his girlfriend for a while, thinking that it would be fun to do a double date. So they called us to go to dinner and the Casino on Friday night with the two of them and some other friends of Coaches. I jumped at this opportunity for us to go out and to hopefully help Coach reconnect with some buddies. They said they wanted to have dinner at the Casino. Guess what they picked, Every Sleever’s nightmare, THE BUFFET!!!!
I thought it wouldn’t be a big deal, that I would just have more options to choose from and in some ways it could be great because I could just have a tiny bite of anything I was interested in. Well It wasn’t that easy. First I walked through trying to decide what I wanted to eat and I found that very little appealed to me. All my fellow sleevers know that when you are not hungry you just aren’t hungry. I almost got some rice but luckily remembered that I shouldn’t have that before I put any on my plate. I thought about pasta but I knew I needed more protein then that. So after much wondering I finally managed to fill my plate with a little bit of different things. But when I got back to the table I discovered that Coaches friends really took their buffet seriously. They had soup and salad piled high on their plates and that was just their first course. Even the other girlfriend in the group ended up going back two more times to fill her plate. The guys (except Coach) each went a total of four times, not counting dessert.
I picked at my food. It was ok but not the best and I kept feeling like I couldn’t get servings of some things because they were too big and I didn’t want to waste food. I didn’t really even eat enough when the problem should have been eating too much. I finally gave up on dinner and went to get dessert (while everyone else was only on their second plate of food). My eyes were bigger then my stomach at the dessert table. I got three small desserts and took them back to the table. I ate a little of the first one (Gelato), then let the other two sit in front of me while the others ate. Once and awhile I took a small bite from one of the other two and I got Coach to have some too. I still probably didn’t even eat a whole dessert but it was better than just watching everyone else eat. And the worst part, was that Coach paid 28 DOLLARS for my meal! I mean the two of us together probably ate as much as one of the other people we were with. I honestly wish we could have just shared a plate. I didn’t think that the buffet people would buy that idea though.
Coach’s friends did notice my weight loss and said something to him about it. They don’t know about my sleeve of course, but the last time I saw them was the weekend after surgery and that was 34lbs ago. So it’s nice to know that people see a difference. It was kinda funny because usually Coach gets upset about spending money on meals that I only eat part of (even if I take home the leftovers) but this time he wasn’t bothered at all. I was really glad about that and I bought all his drinks at the Casino after to make up for it. And I bought Lunch the next day because I still felt bad. I really appreciated him not saying anything and I think he understood that it was a little awkward for me. Honestly it might have been for him too. He is a health conscious guy and isn’t one to go overboard like the rest. He had two plates of food and a few bites of my desserts. That was it. So he probably felt a little weird himself being one of only two people who weren’t putting on the feed bag. But we still had a good time. I enjoyed spending time with his friends, I like them a lot. And I had fun gambling, even if I did lose 60$. I kinda laugh at the whole thing now picturing a sleever at a buffet. If the others only knew. They were probably really confused. LOL. Oh well!
I have realized I have to get my butt moving more. I didn’t make it to the gym at all this week because stuff kept popping up and I only lost two pounds this week. Before I went on vacation I was steadily losing three pounds a week. While I was away I only lost two which I wasn’t disappointed about. But this week I only lost two again and I can’t have that keep up. If I am going to lose everything in six months like my doctor said I need to keep the three pound a week thing going. I also have to be better about my protein. Being away for a week messed up that good habit too. I find I lose weight better when I do get in all my protein. I will have to make sure to work that in. I was supposed to be down by 56lbs by my next doctor’s appointment and I won’t make it if I keep up this two poinds a week thing. I’m down 44lbs now so I may not make it at all. I have three weeks until my appointment. So time to rev my engine and get this body moving!!!
I picked at my food. It was ok but not the best and I kept feeling like I couldn’t get servings of some things because they were too big and I didn’t want to waste food. I didn’t really even eat enough when the problem should have been eating too much. I finally gave up on dinner and went to get dessert (while everyone else was only on their second plate of food). My eyes were bigger then my stomach at the dessert table. I got three small desserts and took them back to the table. I ate a little of the first one (Gelato), then let the other two sit in front of me while the others ate. Once and awhile I took a small bite from one of the other two and I got Coach to have some too. I still probably didn’t even eat a whole dessert but it was better than just watching everyone else eat. And the worst part, was that Coach paid 28 DOLLARS for my meal! I mean the two of us together probably ate as much as one of the other people we were with. I honestly wish we could have just shared a plate. I didn’t think that the buffet people would buy that idea though.
Coach’s friends did notice my weight loss and said something to him about it. They don’t know about my sleeve of course, but the last time I saw them was the weekend after surgery and that was 34lbs ago. So it’s nice to know that people see a difference. It was kinda funny because usually Coach gets upset about spending money on meals that I only eat part of (even if I take home the leftovers) but this time he wasn’t bothered at all. I was really glad about that and I bought all his drinks at the Casino after to make up for it. And I bought Lunch the next day because I still felt bad. I really appreciated him not saying anything and I think he understood that it was a little awkward for me. Honestly it might have been for him too. He is a health conscious guy and isn’t one to go overboard like the rest. He had two plates of food and a few bites of my desserts. That was it. So he probably felt a little weird himself being one of only two people who weren’t putting on the feed bag. But we still had a good time. I enjoyed spending time with his friends, I like them a lot. And I had fun gambling, even if I did lose 60$. I kinda laugh at the whole thing now picturing a sleever at a buffet. If the others only knew. They were probably really confused. LOL. Oh well! I have realized I have to get my butt moving more. I didn’t make it to the gym at all this week because stuff kept popping up and I only lost two pounds this week. Before I went on vacation I was steadily losing three pounds a week. While I was away I only lost two which I wasn’t disappointed about. But this week I only lost two again and I can’t have that keep up. If I am going to lose everything in six months like my doctor said I need to keep the three pound a week thing going. I also have to be better about my protein. Being away for a week messed up that good habit too. I find I lose weight better when I do get in all my protein. I will have to make sure to work that in. I was supposed to be down by 56lbs by my next doctor’s appointment and I won’t make it if I keep up this two poinds a week thing. I’m down 44lbs now so I may not make it at all. I have three weeks until my appointment. So time to rev my engine and get this body moving!!!
Friday, August 6, 2010
Lies of Omission
Yesterday’s tiger’s game was a bit of a disappointment. I got there and had lunch with my coworkers. I don’t know what happened. I didn’t feel like I had eaten too much or was full but after my first bite I felt a little sick. I ate 3/4th of my hotdog, trying to go slow and chew well. I waited and my stomach was not happy. I started picturing myself running to a garbage can, knocking the top off and throwing up. That was the last thing I wanted to do surrounded by all of my coworkers. So I went to the bathroom and managed to get there before my hotdog came back up.
Usually after an incident like that my stomach feels much better. That wasn’t the case this time. I felt off the rest of the day. Everyone was going to get some of those big frozen daiquiris and I decided to get one too. I figured that the cool slushy would help my tiny tummy and that the little alcohol in it would make me feel a little more jolly. Then I wouldn’t be the odd ball out not drinking either. Another poor plan. For some reason the daiquiris’ were really thick and syrupy so it tasted too sweet and I had trouble drinking it. I drank maybe half a cup worth in an hour and then it was so melted I had no interest. I still felt low energy. The game was going slow and boring. Zero to Zero in the fifth inning. I left with some people and went to the after party early because it was in an air conditioned bar. My mood never improved though so I ended up leaving at 4:00. I couldn’t even take advantage of the open bar! Since it was on my company’s tab I really wanted to. Ahh well. I guess those are the breaks when adjusting to the sleeve.
I did have a little bit of a problem the other day too. I went to see my friend Diva. I’ve mentioned her before. She is a friend from high school who also struggles with her weight a lot. I know she would be appalled by me having surgery and would think it was way too extreme. She had lost a lot of weight but she recently gained it all back and she isn’t very happy about it. She also has no money. She works a part time minimum wage job and doesn’t make wise choices. So she often can’t afford to eat healthy. We went out to dinner and that ended up being a problem. Last time we saw each other I had managed to have her not notice how little I was eating but this time she was expecting to eat as we always have. She ordered our favorite appetizer and then look surprised when I ordered a half order of my favorite salad. She knows I’ve lost weight but I have only told her that I was dieting. She couldn’t believe that it would be enough food for me. So to try and explain it I told a somewhat elaborate story that was partially true. I am eating an 800 calorie diet. I am working with my doctor to keep me healthy and not deprive me of nutrition. I do have a very small appetite now. I just left out the part about surgery.
I know she would react badly to the news and give me a hard time about it. That is why I decided not to tell her in the first place. Also since I know she couldn’t afford the surgery herself and her insurance is not very good I know she would see it like I can afford to make myself skinny because my family has money. I knew that would just make her feel worse. But I didn’t anticipate how hard it would be not to tell her. I mean it hasn’t been hard with my family or my co-workers. I the people I eat around the most know. Every one else I can bluff well enough that they don’t notice or question. But this was tougher. I had a few bites of the appetizer. But that filled me up more than I expected so when my salad came I really couldn’t eat much. We both talk a lot so it was easy to move the food around my plate and talk but still it wasn’t quite slow enough for me to eat. And some times salad feels like it is bringing little air bubbles into my tiny tummy with the veggies. Tonight was one of those times which makes it harder to eat. I had to stop after probably 1/3 of a cup eaten so there was still a lot to take home. I just felt awkward and a little guilty for not telling Diva the truth. I tried not to lie but I definitely lied by omission and I definitely embellished the truth. It puts you in an awkward position. Has anyone else had this happen?
Usually after an incident like that my stomach feels much better. That wasn’t the case this time. I felt off the rest of the day. Everyone was going to get some of those big frozen daiquiris and I decided to get one too. I figured that the cool slushy would help my tiny tummy and that the little alcohol in it would make me feel a little more jolly. Then I wouldn’t be the odd ball out not drinking either. Another poor plan. For some reason the daiquiris’ were really thick and syrupy so it tasted too sweet and I had trouble drinking it. I drank maybe half a cup worth in an hour and then it was so melted I had no interest. I still felt low energy. The game was going slow and boring. Zero to Zero in the fifth inning. I left with some people and went to the after party early because it was in an air conditioned bar. My mood never improved though so I ended up leaving at 4:00. I couldn’t even take advantage of the open bar! Since it was on my company’s tab I really wanted to. Ahh well. I guess those are the breaks when adjusting to the sleeve.
I did have a little bit of a problem the other day too. I went to see my friend Diva. I’ve mentioned her before. She is a friend from high school who also struggles with her weight a lot. I know she would be appalled by me having surgery and would think it was way too extreme. She had lost a lot of weight but she recently gained it all back and she isn’t very happy about it. She also has no money. She works a part time minimum wage job and doesn’t make wise choices. So she often can’t afford to eat healthy. We went out to dinner and that ended up being a problem. Last time we saw each other I had managed to have her not notice how little I was eating but this time she was expecting to eat as we always have. She ordered our favorite appetizer and then look surprised when I ordered a half order of my favorite salad. She knows I’ve lost weight but I have only told her that I was dieting. She couldn’t believe that it would be enough food for me. So to try and explain it I told a somewhat elaborate story that was partially true. I am eating an 800 calorie diet. I am working with my doctor to keep me healthy and not deprive me of nutrition. I do have a very small appetite now. I just left out the part about surgery.
I know she would react badly to the news and give me a hard time about it. That is why I decided not to tell her in the first place. Also since I know she couldn’t afford the surgery herself and her insurance is not very good I know she would see it like I can afford to make myself skinny because my family has money. I knew that would just make her feel worse. But I didn’t anticipate how hard it would be not to tell her. I mean it hasn’t been hard with my family or my co-workers. I the people I eat around the most know. Every one else I can bluff well enough that they don’t notice or question. But this was tougher. I had a few bites of the appetizer. But that filled me up more than I expected so when my salad came I really couldn’t eat much. We both talk a lot so it was easy to move the food around my plate and talk but still it wasn’t quite slow enough for me to eat. And some times salad feels like it is bringing little air bubbles into my tiny tummy with the veggies. Tonight was one of those times which makes it harder to eat. I had to stop after probably 1/3 of a cup eaten so there was still a lot to take home. I just felt awkward and a little guilty for not telling Diva the truth. I tried not to lie but I definitely lied by omission and I definitely embellished the truth. It puts you in an awkward position. Has anyone else had this happen?
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Vacation Recap
Hello friends,
I know it’s been a while but I haven’t had a ton to say. My vacation was a lot of fun. I had a great time with Coach and his family. I definitely felt more comfortable in a bathing suit this year and I even found out one of my suits is now too big. Unfortunately it was too big in the boobs. I didn’t think I’d lost weight there really but I must have. I did have a mishap with the jet ski that I have not last year. It kind of surprised me because you would think that being 40lbs heavier last year would have caused this. I got a burn on the inside of my thighs from bouncing back and forth on the jet ski. Embarrassing and painful! So I had to buy a pair of Men’s swim trunks to wear on the jet ski to protect my poor legs.
I wasn’t so good about my diet while I was away. It was hard because they had a lot of snacks out and someone was always munching on something. So I occasionally found myself grazing on pretzels or cheese. I also felt like I ate bigger meals then I usually do. I don’t think I actually did because if you think about it I still only ate half a chicken breast but it felt like more for some reason. I did also have ice cream. Twice! The real stuff too, not the lowfat yogurt. But each time I could only eat half a scoop so really that wasn’t too bad. I did keep track of my calories and I was close to my 800 but I did go over a bit. I still lost two pounds that week so I couldn’t have been too bad. I was worried though. I was afraid to hop on the scale after I got back. I would have been heartbroken if I had gained weight.
I did also learn one more lesson. The dietitian told me that high fiber veggies would be hard to digest for a while. I love asparagus and we had it with dinner the first night I was away. I decided a little bit couldn’t hurt. So I had two pieces. I was wrong. Right after dinner I ended up throwing everything back up thanks to that high fiber asparagus. So I will still have to be careful of those veggies for a while. Now I have to try to get back into good habits now that I’m home.
Today will be interesting. My entire company is going to the tiger’s game this afternoon. We are walking distance from the stadium and will have a picnic lunch there. Last time I had something like this with work I was able to avoid eating but this time I won’t be able to. So we will have to see what happens. I think I will be ok though. I’ve been able to bluff the whole eating thing pretty well so far. Well I need to try to get some work done before the game. Have a good day everyone and I will write again soon!
I know it’s been a while but I haven’t had a ton to say. My vacation was a lot of fun. I had a great time with Coach and his family. I definitely felt more comfortable in a bathing suit this year and I even found out one of my suits is now too big. Unfortunately it was too big in the boobs. I didn’t think I’d lost weight there really but I must have. I did have a mishap with the jet ski that I have not last year. It kind of surprised me because you would think that being 40lbs heavier last year would have caused this. I got a burn on the inside of my thighs from bouncing back and forth on the jet ski. Embarrassing and painful! So I had to buy a pair of Men’s swim trunks to wear on the jet ski to protect my poor legs.
I wasn’t so good about my diet while I was away. It was hard because they had a lot of snacks out and someone was always munching on something. So I occasionally found myself grazing on pretzels or cheese. I also felt like I ate bigger meals then I usually do. I don’t think I actually did because if you think about it I still only ate half a chicken breast but it felt like more for some reason. I did also have ice cream. Twice! The real stuff too, not the lowfat yogurt. But each time I could only eat half a scoop so really that wasn’t too bad. I did keep track of my calories and I was close to my 800 but I did go over a bit. I still lost two pounds that week so I couldn’t have been too bad. I was worried though. I was afraid to hop on the scale after I got back. I would have been heartbroken if I had gained weight.
I did also learn one more lesson. The dietitian told me that high fiber veggies would be hard to digest for a while. I love asparagus and we had it with dinner the first night I was away. I decided a little bit couldn’t hurt. So I had two pieces. I was wrong. Right after dinner I ended up throwing everything back up thanks to that high fiber asparagus. So I will still have to be careful of those veggies for a while. Now I have to try to get back into good habits now that I’m home.
Today will be interesting. My entire company is going to the tiger’s game this afternoon. We are walking distance from the stadium and will have a picnic lunch there. Last time I had something like this with work I was able to avoid eating but this time I won’t be able to. So we will have to see what happens. I think I will be ok though. I’ve been able to bluff the whole eating thing pretty well so far. Well I need to try to get some work done before the game. Have a good day everyone and I will write again soon!
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