Lies of Omission

Yesterday’s tiger’s game was a bit of a disappointment. I got there and had lunch with my coworkers. I don’t know what happened. I didn’t feel like I had eaten too much or was full but after my first bite I felt a little sick. I ate 3/4th of my hotdog, trying to go slow and chew well. I waited and my stomach was not happy. I started picturing myself running to a garbage can, knocking the top off and throwing up. That was the last thing I wanted to do surrounded by all of my coworkers. So I went to the bathroom and managed to get there before my hotdog came back up.


Usually after an incident like that my stomach feels much better. That wasn’t the case this time. I felt off the rest of the day. Everyone was going to get some of those big frozen daiquiris and I decided to get one too. I figured that the cool slushy would help my tiny tummy and that the little alcohol in it would make me feel a little more jolly. Then I wouldn’t be the odd ball out not drinking either. Another poor plan. For some reason the daiquiris’ were really thick and syrupy so it tasted too sweet and I had trouble drinking it. I drank maybe half a cup worth in an hour and then it was so melted I had no interest. I still felt low energy. The game was going slow and boring. Zero to Zero in the fifth inning. I left with some people and went to the after party early because it was in an air conditioned bar. My mood never improved though so I ended up leaving at 4:00. I couldn’t even take advantage of the open bar! Since it was on my company’s tab I really wanted to. Ahh well. I guess those are the breaks when adjusting to the sleeve.



I did have a little bit of a problem the other day too. I went to see my friend Diva. I’ve mentioned her before. She is a friend from high school who also struggles with her weight a lot. I know she would be appalled by me having surgery and would think it was way too extreme. She had lost a lot of weight but she recently gained it all back and she isn’t very happy about it. She also has no money. She works a part time minimum wage job and doesn’t make wise choices. So she often can’t afford to eat healthy. We went out to dinner and that ended up being a problem. Last time we saw each other I had managed to have her not notice how little I was eating but this time she was expecting to eat as we always have. She ordered our favorite appetizer and then look surprised when I ordered a half order of my favorite salad. She knows I’ve lost weight but I have only told her that I was dieting. She couldn’t believe that it would be enough food for me. So to try and explain it I told a somewhat elaborate story that was partially true. I am eating an 800 calorie diet. I am working with my doctor to keep me healthy and not deprive me of nutrition. I do have a very small appetite now. I just left out the part about surgery.

I know she would react badly to the news and give me a hard time about it. That is why I decided not to tell her in the first place. Also since I know she couldn’t afford the surgery herself and her insurance is not very good I know she would see it like I can afford to make myself skinny because my family has money. I knew that would just make her feel worse. But I didn’t anticipate how hard it would be not to tell her. I mean it hasn’t been hard with my family or my co-workers. I the people I eat around the most know. Every one else I can bluff well enough that they don’t notice or question. But this was tougher. I had a few bites of the appetizer. But that filled me up more than I expected so when my salad came I really couldn’t eat much. We both talk a lot so it was easy to move the food around my plate and talk but still it wasn’t quite slow enough for me to eat. And some times salad feels like it is bringing little air bubbles into my tiny tummy with the veggies. Tonight was one of those times which makes it harder to eat. I had to stop after probably 1/3 of a cup eaten so there was still a lot to take home. I just felt awkward and a little guilty for not telling Diva the truth. I tried not to lie but I definitely lied by omission and I definitely embellished the truth. It puts you in an awkward position. Has anyone else had this happen?