Stall!

Good Afternoon friends!


I hope everyone out there in Cyberland is doing well. I am currently full of frustration. I have only lost half a pound this week. I know that stalls are normal and that everyone goes through them. But the timing on this one really sucks! I think that is the most frustrating part. I have lost 44.5 lbs and I am soooo close to that fifty pound mark. I want to hit it so badly! I’ve been trying to be really careful not to go over my 800 calories and stay away from sugar but it doesn’t seem to be helping. Two weeks of only losing two pounds and now a stall! Argh! And I have a doctor’s appointment in two weeks! My goal was to be down 56lbs by then! My doctor told me that I could lose all the weight I want to lose in six months if I am good. That would require me to lose three pounds a week. That way I would be a skinny Minnie for Christmas and start off the New Year as a New Woman! But I am so afraid that stalls will keep that from happening.

It is really frustrating to me. Even with all of my weight loss so far, I don’t really feel smaller. I don’t feel like I’ve lost weight. I know I have. I can see the number on the scale. My clothes are too big. But I guess I still feel like a fat girl. I keep weighting to feel like I’m different and I haven’t. I felt a little different on vacation this year because I wasn’t as embarrassed in my bathing suit. But then I saw some pictures and was still disgusted with how big I am. So that doesn’t make me happy. I did like seeing a picture that Coach took of me on Christmas Eve last year with the camera I had gotten him. I compared that to a picture that he took on vacation and I couldn’t believe the difference in my face. Those are in my last post if you are curious. But I still just don’t feel the loss yet.

I know I need to work out more. I definitely pushed harder this week but I’m not going to be able to get more days in because I’m going away this weekend. I’m probably not going to feel skinny this weekend either. I’m going to a friend’s bachelorette party and there will be tons of pretty, skinny girls there. We are supposed to wear a dress but I don’t wear dresses. They don’t fit me right because I carry most of my weight in my butt and thighs. So I will probably end up being the only one there in pants. I know I need to get more protein in too. I was doing really well but since my vacation I’ve had trouble getting back in good habits. Sigh.

I know I shouldn’t be complaining. I had a stall right after surgery but it’s been almost three months and I have been losing at a good rate. I was due for this. But I guess knowing that it is normal and will pass doesn’t help keep the frustration at bay. I am also at in between sizes right now which doesn’t help. My 18 pants are all too big and my 16 pants are all just a little too small. Plus all of the shirts that are the next size down are just tight in the arms. Everywhere else they fit. Argh! I was hoping to see my box of too big clothes fill up faster then it has been. Well maybe some girl time is a good thing to distract me. Hopefully some partying will put me in a better frame of mind.