Pre- Op Angst

Good Afternoon everyone!

I was eating my yogurt this morning and glanced at the label. I noticed that the yogurt was 6oz. I realized that after the surgery my stomach will be about the size of that container of yogurt. Now it’s one thing to think abstractly that your stomach will be 85-90% smaller but it is another to actually see it in terms you can relate to. That is really small. That is a little depressing when you start thinking how much of a hamburger could fit in this little yogurt container? How much of a good dinner with a steak, veggies, potato could fit in here? But that is why I’m doing this right? I don’t want to be able to fit a whole burger or whole pizza into my stomach anymore. While I’ll miss enjoying food the way I do now (or did before the pre-op diet) I’m sure I will enjoy my new thin body more.

Which then leads me to more disturbing thoughts. My mom has a friend who was sleeved in November and she has only lost 52lbs so far. I know that she is eating things she shouldn’t and I know she often eats more then she should (I honestly have no idea how she managed to get a whole tray of Baklava into that tiny yogurt container, even if it was over the span of a whole day). But that makes me worry. What if I go through all of this and I fail? What if I can’t get myself to stick to healthy eating and I don’t lose the weight. Or at least enough weight. What if I just can’t get skinny again even after all of this craziness? I know it probably won’t happen but I still worry. I mean what if I stretch my stomach back out? What if I eat bad foods so even though it’s small amounts it’s still not good enough to lose the weight? I guess it didn’t help that when I weighted myself this morning I had only lost 1lb. I know that is still good but I was hoping for two. I gained seven pounds in the month and a half between meeting the doctor and starting my pre-op diet because I was letting myself enjoy all the foods I won’t be able to enjoy anymore. Plus I was just giving myself a break from worrying about what I eat all the time. Anyway, I was hoping that I would lose enough on the pre-op diet that it wouldn’t be so noticeable that I had gained a bit. I don’t want him to think I cheated. I have made it 8 days on this diet and not cheated AT ALL. Not one bite or sip of anything I am not supposed to have. I am really proud of myself for that one. It is getting easier as time goes on. Six more days until surgery. Now I am starting to get nervous and worry about all this stuff. I wish time would stop crawling so I could just do it all ready!